they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Day 15 - The person you miss the most.

My old self.

I used to be courageous. I used to have a spine. I used to be passionate about what I believed in. I used to have faith. I used to be strong. I used to be stable in all sense of the word. I used to be determined and motivated.
But I'm not like that anymore.
I've grown weak, and old, and tiresome. I've realised the world will beat down on you no matter how strong and willful you are. I've learnt the hard way of what happens when you're impulsive and give no thought to your actions. I let a single boy walk all over me and turn my into a doormat. I became everything I always said I wouldn't. I hated myself.
These days I'm a different person.
I'm peaceful and happy. I'm determined to remain that way. I'm glad with the life choices I've made. My life is heading somewhere unknown and for the first time in my life, I'm excited. I'm positive and trusting of others. I'm willing to take risks and get hurt. I haven't at all lost my spine, I'm just to apathetic . I don't let things bother me. I still miss the old me sometimes. The fierce spirit, the aim to please only those I care about, the desire to do nothing but lay around being happy.
The new me is happier though, and that's all that matters.
Walking contradiction in a nutshell.

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