they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Monday, July 19, 2010

Day 22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to;


Faith.

I don't believe in any religion, whatsoever. I gave up having faith a long time ago. I've been through the whole Christian deal - baptism, first reconciliation, holy communion, confirmation. I even wore a cross around my neck, on a chain my great grandmother gave me. I was going to have a cross tattooed on my back as a show of faith. I went to church because school made us, but I secretly prayed when no one was looking. I believed in something I could not see, feel, smell, hear or taste. Something beyond all my senses. Then, one day, I lost faith in religion. Something so dramatic happened and I couldn't understand why God, of all people, would do such a thing to me. I stopped believing in God and resented Him.
I thought about becoming a Buddhist in an attempt to find peace within myself and the world I live in. I put my faith in karma - what goes around, comes around. Then I realised something important about other people who believed in karma. They all think it's about revenge and negativity. But it's not. Karma is about balance. It rewards the good and punishes the bad. I couldn't believe in something everyone thought was so one-sided and negative. I gave up on that too.
"No fate but what we create"
 That's what I have tattooed on my left hip. I don't feel like I need religion to help me through life. I don't need it to make decisions for me, or tell me how to live my life. I believe in the power of people, the human spirit. I believe that we make our lives into what we want them to be. Life shouldn't be left up to some "divine power." You can't sit around waiting for things to happen because it's fate. You make your own fate. It's just sometimes, I wish I had faith so I knew why things beyond my control happen. Why things have to go wrong all at once, just as everything is suddenly getting better. Why the homeless and unemployed aren't given fair rights. Why are we here ?

"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."
~ Aristotle.

That's why. Happiness. 
I don't need faith.

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