they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Monday, August 30, 2010

Harry Potter;

Harry Potter
[x] Your hair is dark and can be messy.
[x] You wear glasses.
[] You have a weird looking scar.
[x] You are brave.
[] You have green eyes.
[] You like playing a particular sport.
Total = [3]

Ron Weasley
[] You have red hair.
[x] You are very loyal to your friends.
[] You are deathly afraid of spiders.
[x] You are sarcastic.
[] You don’t have a lot of money.
[] You have older siblings.
Total = [2]

Hermione Granger
[] You are bossy.
[x] You are clever.
[x] Your hair is wavy or curly.
[x] You have a cat.
[x] You usually know how to handle tricky situations.
[x] You get made fun of a lot. ( by my friends though :p )
Total = [5]

Rubeus Hagrid
[ ] You are tall.
[x] You are very friendly and soft hearted.
[x] You love animals.
[x] You are very helpful.
[] You give in easily.
[x] You are very loyal.
Total = [4]

Luna Lovegood
[x] You are weird and proud of it.
[] You don’t have loads of friends.
[] You have blonde hair.
[x] You are open minded.
[x] You are quite spiritual.
[] You believe in things most people wouldn’t.
Total = [3]

Draco Malfoy
[x] You are manipulative.
[x] You can be very mean when you want to be.
[] You are a snob.
[x] You can get jealous.
[] You have blonde hair.
[x] You enjoy pranks.
Total = [4]

Neville Longbottom
[] You are close to your grandparents.
[] You are easily frightened.
[x] You get nervous easily.
[] You like frogs and toads.
[x] You are geeky.
Total = [2]

I guess that makes me Hermione Granger (:

Sunday, August 29, 2010


Bulletproof. Impassable.
Impregnable. Indomitable.
Insuperable. Inviolable.
Invulnerable. Irresistible.
Powerful. Strong.
Unassailable. Unattackable.
Unbeatable. Unconquerable.
Undefeatable. Unsurmountable.
Untouchable. Unyielding.

I feel it in my bones.

"“We can't afford to be innocent, stand up and face the enemy. It's a do or die situation, we will be invincible.”
~ Pat Benatar.
Right now, I feel incredibly good about this, and not a single bit sorry about it either. For once, after an immense amount of time, I don't feel the need to prove myself to you. You don't matter. You never did, and you never will. You're some crazy made up fear that I created in my head. You don't matter at all. It's not about you - It's about me.

I feel really, super duper, amazingly great about this. I've suddenly awoke from a terrible dream I refused to escape from, and now everything's so much brighter than I could have ever imagined. There really isn't anything you could say or do right now, or ever, to change the way I feel. You can't take this from me. I won't let you. It's impossible for you. You're not good enough, and I'm more than enough to sustain this feeling.

Have a good life on your own. You're never coming back. Not as long as I'm around. You'll never change. You think you're invincible. I feel sorry for you because you will always stray. You're only fooling yourself.

Let's Dance to;

so if you're ever feeling down
grab your purse and take a taxi
to the darkest side of town
that's where we'll be

so happy, yeah, we're so happy
so happy, yeah, we're so happy

I'm rather sick right now. I feel like my muse is at the back of my throat and no matter how hard I cough, it's stuck there. So for now, I'm posting song lyrics that get stuck in my head.

Friday, August 27, 2010


I really need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hello, my name's Bianca, and I'm a stalker;

Kate Moss is by far my favourite model. She's absolutely stunning, has a bit of a rough edge, and she's what the fashion world should be about. And yes, I would turn lesbian for her if such an opportunity presented itself.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Simple Man;

If you were a simple man,
We'd still walk hand in hand
And if you suddenly went blind,
I would still look in your eyes
When you grow old,
And all your stories have been told
My heart will still race for you,
It won't march to a new beat
If you were a simple man

If you were a simple man,
You'd own no home, you'd own no land
And I would still stand by your side,
And our flame will still burn so bright

Sometimes I wonder why,
I'm so full of these endless rhymes
About the way I feel inside
I wish I could just get it right

If you were a simple man
And I could make you understand
There'd be no reason to think twice
You'd be my sun; you'd be my light
If you were a simple man...
If you were a simple man...

Sometimes I wonder why
I'm so full of these endless rhymes
About the way I feel inside

[Original song - Sometimes I wish by City & Colour.]

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Butcher's Mouth;

I've got a way of finding out what you said, but I want to hear it from the butcher's mouth. 
I've got a way of freaking out all your friends when I'm talking out loud. 
But it ends me when I can tell that I've become the person I can't take, 
that I hate, 
a person so much like you.

Note to self; 


Friday, August 20, 2010


"Your battle cry does more than announce your presence," he said.  "It prepares you for combat by shattering the shackles of good manners and gentility. It is not a sound a gentleman or lady would choose to make. It is an animal sound - the roar of a killer stalking the jungle. As Master Liu used to say, a good battle cry 'unchains the tiger within.'"
~ Mr. Bennet [Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith.]

I hope there's a tiger inside of me. Hungry. Hungry for everything life has on offer. I want it all. I want my tiger to feed upon all the positive in the world and tear apart the negative. I want it to boldly roar in the face of fear and purr in the presence of happiness. I want it to pounce on every great opportunity to pass me. I want it to fight for what I believe in most. I want my tiger to be King of the pride. [And yes, I'm well aware that the picture is of a lion, not a tiger, but it was too cute to say no to.]

On a side note: I finally finished that 30 Day Challenge. Took some time due to the fact that I didn't want to rush my answers. Some questions were easier than others, I'll admit, but it was good to have some sort of concept to write about every day - instead of pointless going-a-bouts in my day.

Also, my hands smell like Palmer's Cocoa Butter body cream. How delightful (:

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Day 30 - Your reflection in the mirror;

Look at yourself. 

You've been through so much. You've laughed and cried. Smiled and frowned. You've broken your nose and bit your lip. You've worn too much make up, and scrubbed so hard to get it off. You've had bags under your eyes and excitement light them up. You've lost baby teeth, grown adult teeth and even had your wisdom teeth pulled out.

You've been bruised and bloodied. You've been through the flu, chicken pox and so many other sicknesses. You've had blood tests, immunisations, piercings, tattoos, and minor surgery. You've got countless scars from being accident prone as a child. You've limped on crutches and wheeled around in a wheel chair. You've driven cars, rode in them and even been in an ambulance a few times.

You've been a flower girl in a wedding, and the child in the middle of a custody case. You've been so hungry you could eat a horse, and so sick you could throw up your insides. You lived through the 90's cartoons, experienced the new millennium and the Y2K bug. You saw the Twin Tower bombings, the war in Afghanistan, and Saddam Hussein's rain of terror end. You've seen Barack Obama reach President, and Julia Gillard become Prime Minister. You've seen the phases of MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and now iPhones.

You survived the Backstreet Boys, Brittney Spears, Ricki Martin, Shakira, Lady GaGa, and Ke$ha. You made it through The Biggest Loser, Australian Idol, Master Chef, The Simpsons, House, and The Bold&The Beautiful. You've seen tape players morph into CD players, which turned into MP3 players, that turned into phones. You've seen the Transformers phase, the Twilight craze, Lord Of The Rings cult, and the Harry Potter organisation.

You've seen life ended and new life born. You've hit rock bottom, and your climbing your way to the top right now. 22years of breathing and living, and so much ahead of you. I can't imagine what you'll see happen to the world around you in years to come. Time will tell.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Day 29 - The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to.

I can't think of an exact person I want to tell everything to. I can't think of what "everything" should be. I'm just going to tell you what you need to hear.


Monday, August 16, 2010

Day 28 - The person who changed your life;


I can't just list one single person who's impacted my life enough to alter it. There are so many people who influence me, and ultimately my life, that they all deserve credit.

Mother - Without you, I would not exist.

Larry (Brother) - You taught me how to share, or rather gave me no other choice, aha.

Ryan - My brother from another mother. You're the reason I don't believe, "Blood's thicker than water." You're the family I chose for myself.

Celeste - My sister from another mister ? Uhm, sure, whatever, haha. You're still my sister, my best friend and my other half. I never knew that becoming your best friend would also mean I'd gain a sister. Without you, I'm not myself.

Michael - You are the only person on this planet that I'm not afraid to make eye contact with. That's a huge thing for me. With you, I'm not afraid of what the future holds. You've also shown me that people can grow and become better. A leopard can change its spots.

Bradley - I've never been more comfortable in my skin thanks to you. It's because of you that I feel comfortable enough to be myself around everyone.

Rachel - Sharing childhood stories with you has given me a sense of closure, knowing I'm not the only one who's had it rough.

John - Your sense of humour and the countless times you became my shoulder to cry upon has shown me that you're never truly alone in the world.

Kellie - Your positive and giving nature taught me how to give more of myself without thinking about what I'd get in return. You're an amazing person.

Hanski - I don't know how or when we became such great friends, either way it works. You've taught me how to be patient with people who are intolerable. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Hana - We were once so close, like sisters, and then I made a fatal mistake and ruined it for a good year. I am forever thankful that we cleared the air and have resumed our friendship. I know you'll never trust me 100% like you used too, but I'm okay with that. You taught me that forgiveness is something special and something one earns and is not just given.

Tristan - Our relationship was messed up. In the end, everything fell to pieces. I'm sorry that I hurt you. From our relationship I took a very important lesson; Sometimes things are worth fighting for, sometimes they're not. Having the strength to say goodbye took a lot from me.

My grandparents - For forever protecting me and sheltering me from harm. Sometimes you get on my nerves, but you're only looking out for my best interests.

My uncle, aunt + cousins - You've taught me that even though personalities clash, a happy medium can be obtained.

The girls from school - Even though I hardly ever went to school, on the days I came, I came for you girls. I would have dropped out otherwise.

My teachers - You never gave up on me even when I had given up on myself. Your optimism showed me that there's a light at the end of every tunnel, despite my ignorance.

Ichigo (kitten) - You put up with my relentless mocking-name calling-tugging on ears-dressing you in stupid clothes-countless times I've used you as a mouse pad-behaviour. You've got an impressive amount of patience and love for me.

Father - At the tender age of 10, I learnt how to stand up for myself and demand better from people. The day I cut you out for good was the most freeing moment of my life.

You - I might not know who you are, what you look like or what your name is, but you're reading this. That's going to impact me enough to keep writing. You might not like what I have to say, but if you've reached this point, then obviously something kept you here long enough. Thank you.

I'm sure there are countless other people who have helped me along my way, and I'm so sorry if you feel like you should be here and I've forgotten you. I have so much to be thankful for that sometimes I forget.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Day 27 - The nicest person you met for only the day;

 Izzy Shaw

When I first met her, I was absolutely stunned by the happiness that was radiating from her. She's so incredibly happy that she'd put Happy the Dwarf to shame. If I had to draw a picture of her smile, it'd gone on and on for miles. Of course, now we're friends, but that first day left the best impression on me that anyone in the history of my life has left. She's always happy. ALWAYS. Even when she's sad, she's still somehow happy. It's incredible. All of my friends say the same thing about her - she's always so damn happy. In fact, it makes some of jealous that we're not as happy as she is. I don't know how she does it. She's an inspiration to all.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 26 - The last person you made a pinky promise with;

I think the last pinky promise I made was either to Nyssa or Michael. I promised Michael that from now on I would answer his questions with Yes or No. I usually would say, "Whatever you want. I don't mind," which led to neither of us making a decision and being stuck in limbo. And I promised Nyssa that I wouldn't share things she tells me. I'm not saying anything more than that ;)

I love pinky promises. There's something about them that separates them from other ordinary promises. I still think, on the whole, that promises are highly important. Don't make a promise if you can't keep it. For me, it's the motion of linking fingers with another person. It seals the deal. I think it has something to do with being a kid also. You knew that making a promise was a big deal when they turned around and said, "Pinky promise ?" It was like all of a sudden your word wasn't good enough and you had to make a physical bond with another person to prove yourself. It's definitely the motion of physical contact that bumps it up to highly important. It's like just verbally saying goodbye to your best friend compared to physically saying goodbye with a hug. That physical contact shows commitment and strength behind those words.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Day 25 - The person you know who is going through the worst of times;


It almost seems like every person out there is in some sort of grief. The homeless, the unemployed, the poor, the starving, the mentally unstable, the abandoned, the wanderers... There's always something going wrong in someone's life. We all struggle to make our lives the happiest they can be. When we fail, it feels like the whole world is against us. It's humanity that goes through life falling and picking itself up again. We destroy the world around us in search of happiness. We endure the worst of times in hope that the future will bring a better life through change.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 24 - The person who gave you your favourite memory;

I've lived 22 years of life, and there are still many more to come. I can't possibly pick one single moment in time. I'm sure the single happiest day of my life is yet to happen. I'll continue to wish for it until it happens. I'll dot down a variety of the happiest moments of my life to date.

The day my parents finalised their divorce.

When I finally understood the true meaning of the word Love, and the first time I said it with meaning.

20 February 2007 - "I cherish my loss, a gentle reminder; life is unkind, at the best of times."

My attendance at the very first Soundwave festival.

The endless times I went to Fowlers to see Her Latest Flame play.

My first job, and pay cheque.

Year 12 Graduation from St Mary's College.

The reaction my mother had plastered on her face the first time she saw me with chemically straightened hair.

Drunken bathroom promises with Celeste.

That first kiss.

Each and every time I've seen Angus & Julia Stone on stage in front of my eyes and within arms reach.

When I finally realised that my weaknesses do not make me a weak person, they're there to remind me to strive to become the best I can be.

That night I watched The Shawshank Redemption in my new house.

I broke my nose, for the second time, at a Her Latest Flame gig.

9 piercings, 2 tattoos and I remember the day I got each of them. Many more still to come (:

Very, very, verrrrry, drunk times in New York Club.

The first time I had my nails done professionally.

That first date.

When I read the last and final chapter of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.

Everything that rocked about being a kid in the 90's.

When I finally learnt how to fight for and defend what/who I love.

That park and those swings.

Someone who I love very deeply became the person I always knew they could be.

Michael once played the piano for me and it almost brought me to tears.

Each of Ryan's hugs have become greater and more loving. I remember all of them.

I spent a weekend away with the Capulet boys filming their official video clip for their band.

The earliest memory I have - 5 years old, first wobbly tooth, father yanked it out with string, blood spilled every where, and I lost my tooth.

The whole experience in relation to having my two wisdom teeth pulled out. The most exciting medical procedure I've had.

I'll never forget the love I have for Pirates of the Caribbean.

Playing the new Sims 3 was an experience and a half. Simply amazed me.

All those crazy nights I stayed up txting Michael until 4am while he was at work.

After watching Queen of the Damned for the first time, I fell in love with vampires [not the Edward Cullen type].

The fantastically spontaneous time I had at Schoolies.

The extreme happiness I felt throughout 2009. I need to get back who I was from that year.

My cousins and I spent a night eating nothing but chocolate and taking stupid photos. I'll never forget that.

Making constant wishes as a child for silly things like a Barbie camper van.

That deaf man from Hungry Jack's. He'll always make me smile, even if he's just a memory.

There was a period of time where my boyfriend cheated on me. I'm so glad that I learnt that boys are just that - boys. I stood up for myself and demanded to be treated the way I should be. I am now (:

Michael took me on a date to China Town, where we had ramen and took photos in Morning Glory's photo booths, and then later relaxed under the sun at the beach.

Save Yourself - Sense Field. That song taught me in 3 minutes that self respect is far greater than being a tramp.

When I was younger, I couldn't read in 24 hours, but my brother taught me a useful trick and now I can read the time no matter the format.

Year 8 English taught me that no matter how damn cold it is in the mornings, with a limerick and matching dance moves, you can warm up and be comfortable.

You made me listen to a song, in the middle of the food court, at Marion. That song changed things forever more.

My uncle's wedding was spectacular.

More Than Life - Whitley. This song taught me the true meaning of happiness and love. Listen to it. Really. Do it. There was even a moment in my life where I thought I had found my "home". Stupid mistake to think such a thing but nonetheless, a good memory.

Street Fighter II was the very first SNES game I ever played. I dominated for a child, and I still kick butt.

Super Smash nights. Everyone chills out and play a few intense rounds of the game.

That overwhelming feeling when I realised I was ready to commit to another person.

There's obviously more than that to my life, but that's all I could manage to think of during my 8 hours at work today. Quite constructive work today, I think (:

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Blog changes;

Tonight I changed my blog name and link. I felt as though A Sailor Went to Sea, Sea, Sea... was a bit ominous towards the intent behind this blog. The blog name/link should be relevant and reflect the blog entirely. Thus, Persuing Happiness is born. My whole life is a pursuit of happiness, and of love. I hope that, now, my blog will become more personal and a great part of who I am.
I also gave it a new look. I wanted something simple and clean. Here we go.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


What I'm about to post here, is something I wrote over two years ago. A very long time for me to further develop my writing skills, and yet I've failed to do such a thing. This has to be one of my favourite pieces that I've ever written. Criticism is welcome, but only if it's constructive. Also, I used to type like an idiot, so if there are any punctuation, grammar or spelling errors, I have only myself to blame. It's long, so bear with me.

My laptop is dirty. It’s got me thinking about my life; It’s completely covered in dust and watermarks. It needs a clean. I have to dust off every shelf and wipe over every window, whether I enjoy it or not. I think I prefer to see life much like a room. There are walls with shelves to which I place many things upon, the floor which I stand upon, a bed for when I feel like taking time out from life, a roof that keeps me sheltered from the outside world, a large window to see the world see through and for people to see into me, and a door; for leaving.

I've let things become far too filthy and I have to remove all the stains that I have ignored for some time now. There’s no doubt in my mind that some stains are permanent and no matter how hard I scrub at them, they won’t be removed. For those stains, I'll just have to deal with them as best I can, and then cover them up so they won't be seen. Worst case scenario; I'll just cut out that bit and replace it. The only problem there is I'll be cutting out areas which I'd rather leave untouched. Once cut out, I can't put it back and the new substance that will replace that area will also replace what I want to keep. Suppose if I want it gone for good, drastic measures must be taken.

A bigger problem has just arisen; Where the hell do I begin to clean ? What needs to be cleaned first; the messiest area or an area with higher importance ? Should I clean the window to let in better light for the rest of the room ? Do I clean the floor first so I don't tread on anything important or make more mess ? Should I work my way down starting at the roof and finishing at the floor ? Or work my way up ? Easiest mess or hardest mess ? Whatever choice I make, all I know is that I must clean.

When I think about how I actually clean my own room, I realise that I start with my bed. I make sure that my bed is clean, the sheets and pillow cases have been changed, I flip the mattress sometimes, put everything back all clean and make my bed. Then I use that as a table for the things I want to keep. Occasionally it’s a table for my clothes that I sort out into piles so I can easily put them away.

Next comes the floor, which is covered in so much mess that it’s hard to step on real floor and not items carelessly placed everywhere. I pick up the clothes first and sort them out, seeing as that's the most effective way to rid the floor of mess. Then I crawl under my bed and find all the things that I've kicked or dropped under there. After all the necessary items have been picked up off the floor, I pick up all the rubbish. All the letters I've left on the ground, all the receipts that have fallen out of bags, all the scraps of general rubbish that's managed to accumulate.

After cleaning the floor, I usually start on shelves covered in complete shit. I use my bed, once again, as a table and place all the things I'd like to keep on my bed and throw the rest away straight into a rubbish bag. I debate for a considerable amount of time whether I should keep something or not. Will I use it again ? Is it going to come in handy one day ? Do I really need it ? Simple questions that I ask myself and yet I fail to find a simple answer. Yes, no and probably not. What am I meant to do ? I think I will use it again but I'm not sure it will be handy and I don’t really need it, so throw it out. By now my garbage bag is quite full and busting at the seems. I start another bag.

Then I find the sentimental things; the ones with value money could never understand. A teddy bear, numerous other stuffed toys, letters from friends written too long ago, the shirts that I live in, ticket stubs from gigs and irreplaceable band items (picks, drums sticks, set lists) from my favourite Adelaide local band, Her Latest Flame. These items are placed on my bed in a specific area I had been saving for these exact pieces of memory. I reassess the sentimental value of each piece and determine where I will place it when I finally get around to putting things back on the shelves.

After the bed, floor and shelves have been cleared of everything; I bring out the cleaning products. I make sure I have a cloth and a bucket of water for dust, window cleaner for the obvious, a broom for getting cobwebs if there are any, and a vacuum cleaner to get any dust that my cloth didn’t and anything that remains on the floor. All the shelves are cleaned first and then I wipe over all the items that are going to be placed on the shelf so there’s no dust being returned. I next proceed to the floor and vacuum everywhere. Then comes the window, which I spend a lot of time on. I have to make sure I get the watermarks and fingerprints off the inside side of the window. I'm careful enough not to leave streaks all over the place. Then I got outside and clean the other side, as careful as the inside side.

After all this cleaning has been done, the room is looking much neater and feels cleaner. Glances around the room outline areas that have been stained and the efforts I placed into removing them. Now comes the most difficult part of cleaning my room; The cover ups and removals. There are stains on the walls, stains on the floor, stains on the shelves, stains everywhere. The shelves are clearly the easiest to cover up. I strategically place items over the stains so you can't see them anymore. Sure, the stains are still there but now they’re no longer an issue. I'll always be conscious of their presence, I just won't pay any attention to it. Walls are next; paint usually does the trick. Problem; fresh paint isn’t as faded or marked as the rest of the wall is. Once the new paint dries, it’s clearly evident that something used to be there and I've tried to cover it up. Like the shelves, the stains are mentally noted but ignored. The floor is the last because it’s the hardest to cover up. In fact, in all my attempts to cover floor stains, I've found the most effective way is just to cut it out and replace it with new flooring (being carpet, timber, tiles, lino, etc.).

I now have to decide whether I'll cut it out and replace it or just leave it and ignore it like the other stains. Will other people really care ? Does it make that much of a difference if I leave it ? New flooring, much like paint, can be spotted amongst pre-existing surface. Half the time I leave those stains simply because when it gets messy again, you can't see them.

I stand back and realise that the whole room is clean, that everything is dust free and relatively stain free. For the time being, that's as clean as I'll ever get it; it will just have to do.

Much like the dust, sentimental items and stains, my life is the same. Instead of dust I have things I let settle and ignore; sentimental items are memories that I'll always remember; and stains are mistakes and scars that have been causes over time. Some of them I can wipe off easily, others need to covered up but always remembered, and a select few will have to be cut out and lost forever. What I choose to do with cleaning my "room" is, well, completely undecided until the moment I begin. What I'm left with is what I've chosen to keep for certain reasons, reasons that others may not understand or approve of. I'll continuously mess up my room, clean it, mess it up again, and then clean it again. It’s a vicious cycle but it keeps my room standing; it keeps me going.

And in the end, if I didn’t mess things up, I'd never clean it out. I'd always hold on to things I need not and I'd always have stains that could easily be gone.
This is how I see my life; A room that always needs cleaning.

And while I'm on the subject of pieces of writing, I'd just like to say a small something to everyone out there. Develop some literacy skills before going ahead and and announcing how you'd like to turn writing into a career. Start with learning how to spell and using proper punctuation and grammar. If you cannot master the basics, you have no hope. FYI - it's rIIIIIIIdiculous. Not rediculous. There is no E in the word, whatsoever ! Jeez.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." ~ Oscar Wilde.

Monday, August 2, 2010


I know I'm meant to be doing the 30 Day Challenge, and I still am, but I've had thoughts on my mind that keep bugging me. I need to vent them before they drive me insane. So, here goes:

A girl should never, ever, under any circumstance allow a boy to make her feel any less than perfect. 

I see it plastered all over Facebook.
"I miss you."
"We used to talk every day. Now we don't speak a word."
"I still love you."
"Why can't you see how much I miss you."
You name a cliché line, I've seen it. And quite frankly, I'm not impressed.
It's as simple as this - Don't make a girl fall for you if you have no intention of keeping her. Especially a girl who has deep feelings for you. It makes you a disgrace to the male gender. You don't deserve her if that's the way you're going to treat her. You deserve nothing but a spoon full of your own medicine.
I'm sick of hearing about it, and I'm sick of going through it myself. I spent a year and a half on-and-off with a boy. And why ? Because he thought it was the only way to stop me from being with someone else, even though he wasn't ready to be with me. And I let the stupid boy get away with it because I loved him. Jeez, the things people do for love are ridiculous. If all you are after is a one night stand or a fling, be up front and tell her from the beginning. If somewhere down the track, you change your mind and want it to be casual, then tell her straight away. If she's not okay with it, then guess what, buddy ? It means you're not good enough for her. She shouldn't be wasting her time on someone who wouldn't waste their time on her.
I'm tired of feeling sorry for girls who do nothing but post status updates and blogs about the one boy who won't be with them. I just don't understand it. Why be so weak ? I know how it feels to lose someone you love more than anything in this world. I really, truly do, but you don't see me wallowing in my own self pity, do you ? No. I've moved on with things in my life and found ways to be happy regardless of my loss. Sure, there's not a day that doesn't go by where I don't think about it, but I'm not going to let my whole life collapse around me.
If who you want to be with doesn't want to be with you, then there's nothing you can do about it. You can't make someone love you. If all you really, deep down inside, want is for them to be happy, then let them do as they choose. Maybe they're not the one for you. And if they find someone else who does make them happy, then shouldn't you be happy for them ? After all, their happiness is what you wanted. Admit defeat, cut your losses and move on with life. Above all, respect their decision to do what's best for them. What makes you happiest may not always be the same.
I've been on all sides of this situation. I've been the one who lost, I've been the one who had to choose between two people, and I've been the one who's had to sit through someone else interfere in my relationship. I know how it feels to be in every seat of it, and none of it is easy. I know what it's like to be in love with someone, and make all those crazy plans to spend the rest of your lives together. I did that in my very first serious relationship. It ended. I lost him to another girl, and from that moment forward, I promised myself I'd never let myself do that again. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein couldn't have said it better himself. You will not become happier if you keep making yourself miserable.

Let me just leave it with this (of course with the gender switch):
If she is amazing, she wont be easy. If she is easy, she wont be amazing. If she is worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you are not worth it.