they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Monday, August 2, 2010


I know I'm meant to be doing the 30 Day Challenge, and I still am, but I've had thoughts on my mind that keep bugging me. I need to vent them before they drive me insane. So, here goes:

A girl should never, ever, under any circumstance allow a boy to make her feel any less than perfect. 

I see it plastered all over Facebook.
"I miss you."
"We used to talk every day. Now we don't speak a word."
"I still love you."
"Why can't you see how much I miss you."
You name a cliché line, I've seen it. And quite frankly, I'm not impressed.
It's as simple as this - Don't make a girl fall for you if you have no intention of keeping her. Especially a girl who has deep feelings for you. It makes you a disgrace to the male gender. You don't deserve her if that's the way you're going to treat her. You deserve nothing but a spoon full of your own medicine.
I'm sick of hearing about it, and I'm sick of going through it myself. I spent a year and a half on-and-off with a boy. And why ? Because he thought it was the only way to stop me from being with someone else, even though he wasn't ready to be with me. And I let the stupid boy get away with it because I loved him. Jeez, the things people do for love are ridiculous. If all you are after is a one night stand or a fling, be up front and tell her from the beginning. If somewhere down the track, you change your mind and want it to be casual, then tell her straight away. If she's not okay with it, then guess what, buddy ? It means you're not good enough for her. She shouldn't be wasting her time on someone who wouldn't waste their time on her.
I'm tired of feeling sorry for girls who do nothing but post status updates and blogs about the one boy who won't be with them. I just don't understand it. Why be so weak ? I know how it feels to lose someone you love more than anything in this world. I really, truly do, but you don't see me wallowing in my own self pity, do you ? No. I've moved on with things in my life and found ways to be happy regardless of my loss. Sure, there's not a day that doesn't go by where I don't think about it, but I'm not going to let my whole life collapse around me.
If who you want to be with doesn't want to be with you, then there's nothing you can do about it. You can't make someone love you. If all you really, deep down inside, want is for them to be happy, then let them do as they choose. Maybe they're not the one for you. And if they find someone else who does make them happy, then shouldn't you be happy for them ? After all, their happiness is what you wanted. Admit defeat, cut your losses and move on with life. Above all, respect their decision to do what's best for them. What makes you happiest may not always be the same.
I've been on all sides of this situation. I've been the one who lost, I've been the one who had to choose between two people, and I've been the one who's had to sit through someone else interfere in my relationship. I know how it feels to be in every seat of it, and none of it is easy. I know what it's like to be in love with someone, and make all those crazy plans to spend the rest of your lives together. I did that in my very first serious relationship. It ended. I lost him to another girl, and from that moment forward, I promised myself I'd never let myself do that again. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein couldn't have said it better himself. You will not become happier if you keep making yourself miserable.

Let me just leave it with this (of course with the gender switch):
If she is amazing, she wont be easy. If she is easy, she wont be amazing. If she is worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you are not worth it.

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