they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Friday, September 17, 2010

Summer Fling;

So a recent ex of my friend's, and unfortunately mine too [don't ask, I was a bad person in the past], suddenly popped out of nowhere. The last time he and I spoke, he said, "I hope you die." Lovely chap, really. Then, after over a year of complete silence, he wrote on my Formspring. And he didn't just write any old boring thing. He wrote song lyrics. In specific, a particular couple of lines to a song he once said reminded him of me. You can imagine, after what he last said to me, that I was rather surprised.

"It's watching flicks with my chick, making love on the sofa."
Don't worry, I hate myself for associating my past with being a hussy. Wicked. Like I said, I was a bad person.

That got me thinking. Why do exs have to cross the line like that ? I mean, really, come on now. You told me to go die, and then open with a line like that. What are you trying to prove ? I've moved on with my life, and so have you, so why ?! How nice of you to share that you still think of me when you hear that song. I most certainly do not have the same reaction to it.

Now he's not as bad as some other exs I know of, but still. I'm sure you have other things to do than be nostalgic. But there are some exs out there that seriously do not understand boundaries. Those disrespectful, manipulating, obsessive exs.

They really don't care about whether you're truly happy or not. They only care about whether you're happy with them or not. Making you upset so it looks like you're unhappy without them does not mean you're actually happy with them. Manipulating the situation for their own selfish gain just goes to show how shallow and egotistical they really are. If they really love you and want you to be happy, right down from the bottom of their heart, they will back off and let you be.
It's that simple.

I seriously do not understand how some exs can be like that. I just don't get it.


  1. Amen sister, although I may not be able to personally relate regarding ex loves, I can somewhat relate this to a current llove. I've been in a relationship for two years now with this boy who I'm hopelessly in love with. Although, at times (more often than I'd like to admit) he treats me with little respect. When he's good to me he's wonderful and we're like two lame teenagers newly in love. Then he'll snap and blame all bad happenings on me and bring me down to a point where I'm begging for his forgiveness and comfort therefore leaving me feeling so alone and needy that i foolishly believe that I desperately need him too feel complete and happy.
    It's almost like our relationship ran out of gas some time ago and we've been waiting on the side of the road for the solution ever since. .
    We stay together though. We stay because we are comfortable, despite the negative and harmful results

    Between you and I, I think us humans have an uncontrolable desire for dissapointment.

  2. Oh, I have to agree 100% that humans desire disappointment - I'm one of them. Secretly, I subconsciously sabotage my happiness for some unknown reason. I never realise I'm doing it until I'm done.

    I was with an ex for a very long time because it was comfortable. We both knew it wasn't going to last, but neither wanted to admit it. We kept saying things like, "It'll get better if we both try harder. We want to be together forver" etc, etc.
    Now that we've broken up, we've realised how much of a waste of time it really was. Sometimes you have to learn to say No even if you really don't want to be alone. It sucks but it's the only way we can grow.