they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Friday, October 15, 2010


Always. Endlessly.
Enduringly. For good.
For life. Forevermore.
Immortally. Infinitely.
Lasting. Permanently. 
Till death do us part.
Till the end of time.
A world without end.

Forever is probably the most frightening word in the English language. It has an extremely heavy meaning, one I'm not sure I'm ready to bare. I said it once, and the results were catastrophic. I refuse to say it anymore. It scares me, you know. I don't want to make that sort of promise to someone and break it. And yet, it's something I desire most. I'm so terrified that if I say it, it'll ruin things and not work out. Then what ? I'm left feeling like I've made a huge mistake in confessing how I might have felt. Again.
No. I'm sorry, but no. I won't say it. I just won't. Not until I find someone who believes I'm worthy enough to hear it first. However selfish that may be.

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