they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Sliding doors;

I've always wondered how people do it - live a lie. I don't get it. How do people pretend like that ? I'm serious. I can't get my head around it.

You know the people - the ones who've obviously lost a battle but refuse to go down with their sinking ship. They don't want to accept that they've lost and will continue to hold on to whatever memories and feelings they have to keep themselves afloat. The people who live in a delusional world that revolves around whatever fantasy they desire. They can't let go of what's not real anymore. They fight against reality.

Sometimes it's because we're still grieving over our loss, sometimes it's too painful to let go, sometimes false hope is all we have left, sometimes living a lie is easier. It's still not right. How can you do that to yourself ? To everyone else ? Keeping yourself locked away in your own little world makes the loss so much greater when you finally accept it. You realise not only have you lost, but everything you thought was real, is a lie. It's not healthy and it shouldn't be done.

Yes, you can remember how things used to be, and it is okay to miss it from time to time, but you should never live in a moment that's already expired. You can't live the rest of your life in falsehood; you will never get past it. You'll hurt yourself and the ones around you, even if you never meant to. And it's even worse when it comes to relationships.

The one who won't let go and move on. The one who thinks there's still a chance. The one that keeps telling themselves that it's just a phase and it'll pass. The one who thinks history will repeat itself, because it has before. The one who's claimed to have moved on with someone new but won't let go of the past. The one who's still in love when the other is not. That person is living a lie, and they know it.

I've never known someone who can create such a lie and immerse themselves so far that reality feels like a dream in comparison. How can you blatantly deny yourself the future opportunity to find someone new who brings you something you've never felt before ? How can you lie to yourself ? I simply don't understand.

Note to self: Do not read old msn conversations. How horrible.


  1. Hye..seriously, I like this post ;)
    I somehow agreed with you.

  2. Thank you (: I'm glad you enjoyed it.