they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Thursday, December 9, 2010


This was taken when we were only best friends. Now, I usually don't have an issue with personal space, but standing that close to him made me feel rather awkward and nervous, aha. Probably because if you didn't know any better, you would have thought we were a couple. I think the reason why we work so well together is because we started off as best friends, and we haven't lost that at all while taking it up a notch to a full relationship.

A lot of people ask me how I dealt with all the troubles we've been through earlier in our relationship, and I could never find the right answer. Until I saw this photo and started thinking. You see, Michael's the first boyfriend who's not only recognised me as his girlfriend, but his best friend too, which is a big deal to me. For the record, Michael is my second serious relationship. As a boyfriend, I should have dropped his butt the moment he admitted to cheating on me, but as a best friend, I let it go. And I let it go, not because I was in love with him [because at that point, I wasn't], but because that's what you do when your best friend screws up. You let it go and move on with things.

And I know what you're thinking right now - Holycow, she brought up how he cheated on her, she must still hate him for it. She totally holds it against him and always will. Well, you're wrong. I don't get angry or hurt over it anymore. I let go of all those negative feelings the moment I decided that I was going to live a life of happiness, no matter what. He's also matured and grown up a lot in the year-and-a-half we've been together - not only as a boyfriend, but as a person. In fact, we don't even talk about it or anything of the sort because it's in the past. He's now a faithful, loyal, honest and trustworthy boyfriend, which is more than some can say about theirs.

I don't even know what the point of this post is. I guess I had these thoughts circling my mind for some time now, and all of a sudden I could put them together. I wanted to clear the air about what happened and how I feel, and how things have progressed. Oh, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I don't feel insecure. It's taken a lot of tears and hurt to get to the point, but he's worked hard at earning my trust back. He's also the only boyfriend to say the following words, and I quote; "I'm crazy in love with you, Bianca." If you don't understand the importance of those words, then you don't know me at all.

Random fact of the day; The first day we officially met was Valentine's Day. Cliché, I know.

1 comment:

  1. :)
    I've a best friend who fall in love with me and I ignored him for 2 years. haha...I can't accept any best friend become special boy friend because I know it won't work long :)) hoho.