they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Monday, January 3, 2011

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I have come to the harsh realisation that I no longer allow myself to be content. Every time I feel it, I somehow break it down with depressing emotions. I sabotage my own happiness for a reason unbeknown to myself. Maybe I'm living too closely to the old saying, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is." Maybe I'm afraid of being happy. Maybe I'm afraid of becoming reliant on others to supply my happiness. Maybe I'm afraid to allow someone to become my "everything". I have what I want, why can't I be happy with that ?
It's days like these that remind me of what a horrible person I can be at times. I need to get my head sorted out asap.
And here I was, telling myself that Buddha's quote would save me...

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