they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Monday, March 21, 2011

You're the One that I want;

Oooh, oooh, oooh, honey.

But seriously, what makes you decide you've found the One ? I don't mean that whole the-One-to-spend-the-rest-of-your-life-with kind of One, I just mean the One that works for you right now.

Jeez fucking Christ, I talk about relationships more than the average person. Of course, unless you're a relationship counselor or something along those lines. No wonder people always ask me for my opinion on their relationship status, I'm up to my fucking knees in "wise words."

Whatever. What I really want to know is, at what point between fucking and friendship do you realise that the person you're intimate with is the one for now ? Hell, even the One for life ? I mean, shit, when does it click ? Does some internal switch flick over to go mode and that's that ? Or is there something deeper ? And is it all the same for everyone ? Surely we're not that connected to every other person in this world. Or are we ?

They say love and sex and all that physical connection is universal. It means the same thing, regardless of age, gender, race or religion. Any form of discrimination is eliminated when it comes to love. It's like music, no matter where you are on this godforsaken planet, it's all the same. It makes people happy and bashful, it makes them evil and bitter, but it's always the same no matter who you are, or were, or are trying to become. People experience emotions differently, except for love. It's unique yet conformed.

Is that what makes us feel the need to change desire into satisfaction ? I guess there is a point in every person's sexual moments that they wake up to the pure satisfaction someone brings into their life. It's no longer about the desire to have sex with another [though it's key to every successful relationship - never forget that], it's about the satisfaction you get when you turn hours of time into moments of memory. You can look back on those moments and smile until your cheeks ache.

For me, it's the moment where I find myself lacking desire to do anything without that person. I sit there thinking about how everything would be a billion times better if they were there to share it with me. That kind of sappy shit. I'm not easy to win over either. Quickly, that may be so, but I'm still no easy lass. I require a special kind of attention - the ear of a skilled listener, and the determination of a bright mind. Sex just doesn't cut it for me, and neither does missing a person. Fuck, I miss a lot of people, some of whom I've had sexual relations with, but that doesn't mean I consider them to be the One for now, or ever.

Michael is a separate case from the other boys. He makes me feel a way I've never felt before. Don't be a perverted fuck and think I'm all about sex. And don't be some casanova asshole and think I'm all about roses, silk sheet and candles, because I'm not. I've never even been in that situation, so suck on that. The thing that I love most about Michael is that I'm not afraid of letting him be close to me. I'm not shy around him. I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am when I'm around him, or anyone else for that matter. I can do something with Michael I could never do with anyone else. It's something simple, that most people can do without thinking about it. Wanna know ?

I can make direct eye contact with Michael, allowing him to invade my personal space, without the idea of immediately running away creep into my mind.

It's as simple as that. He didn't have to wine and dine me. He didn't have to serenade me with my favourite song and a bunch of roses. He didn't spoil me with jewelery, chocolates or any other typical romance stuff. He didn't even need to use a pick up line, though he did, which made me giggle hysterically. I love that corny shit, but seriously. He didn't have to do anything except earn my trust. Earn it on a level that no one else has ever before.

And really, if you can't trust your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner/whatever-the-fuck-you-call-them, then what kind of relationship do you have ? I don't understand how someone can allow another into their sacred space and not trust them with everything. You can go ahead and scream to the world all the deep dark secrets you have, no one will give a shit, but if you don't take your time and sleep with whoever gets naked in front of you, what more have you got than just sexual desire ? There's no satisfaction at all. People frown upon your actions, call you a hussy, and then no one takes you seriously. Your partner needs to be someone more than just the person to bring on orgasms - they need to be your best friend. How the fuck you can call someone your best friend without the ability to trust them with every part of you is beyond me. I don't know how people do that shit. Fucking pathetic excuse of a human being, if you ask me. Which you're not, but you got my opinion anyway.

For every one of us out there, there's a trigger that changes the way we think and feel about another. Whether you're one for traditional romance, or one for someone who makes you feel sexy about your body, whatever the fuck makes you want to be with someone, it's programed into our minds. We know what we like when we see it. And if some half wit guy/girl isn't setting that trigger off, you need to move on with your life. There's no time like time wasted. You'll never get those moments back, and you'll spend a long time dealing with that emotional baggage.

Fuck the people who only make you feel as good as you think you should be. The one you want is someone who makes you feel greater than you ever imagined yourself to be. A person who makes you a better human being.

Or you know, settle for what's less than you deserve. You're choice. You're life.

P.S: If you couldn't tell, trust is a big deal for me.

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