they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Saturday, April 30, 2011

You may now kiss the bride;

The meme versions of the Royal Wedding are so much better than the actual event.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Is there a boy in your life?
Oh boy is there ever. I love Michael.

If you woke up naked next to the last person who texted you, what would your reaction be?
I'd be terrified. Waking up next to mother would be terrifying.

Think of the last person who hurt you. Do you forgive them?
It's been such a long time since I've been hurt.

What’s something you really want right now?
Cuddles with Michael. Soon.

Are you afraid of falling in love?
Not at all. I'm glad I've fallen in love with Michael.

Do you like the beach?
Love it. Lovelovelove it.

Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Sure have. Good times, good times.

What’s the background on your cell?
When locked, it's Michael and I; when unlocked, it's my kitty.

Do you like your phone?
My iPhone 4 is fantastic, even when it's shit.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
I never planed to be here. I never plan for anything.

Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?
Oh goodness. No idea.

Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
Either or. Both are as fascinating as each other.

Are you tired?
Super tired, yet can't sleep. OVER TIRED D:<

How long have you known your 1st phone contact?
Adam; about 6 months or something. However long Michael and he had been house mates.

Are they a relative?
Nope. Adam's not Egyptian.

If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?
I'm not ready for that kind of commitment right now.

How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?
None. I stopped wearing them after I got my surface piercing in my wrist.

Is there a certain quote you live by?
"Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."
~ Aristotle.

Whats on your mind?
Need sleep. Miss Michael. I wonder if my fish are still alive.
I can explain how these thoughts link up - I'm tired > need sleep > sleep with cuddles would be awesome > Michael's not here > I miss him > We have fishes together > Michael's fish is doing better > I wonder if they're dead. TAH-DAH MOTHERFUCKER.

Do you have any tattoos?
Three. Soon to be four, when I get my butt into gear.

Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Either tomorrow or Friday. Most likely tomorrow.

Who are you texting?
Michael ran out of credit, again, so no one.

Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?
I'm always right. Never doubt me.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
Countless. I don't see why gender would be a factor.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
I know Michael loves me.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yeah, my eyes are okay.

Were you single on Valentines Day?
Nope (:

What do your friends call you?
Whatever they want. Pockets, Bia, B, etc.

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
HA ! No.

Have you ever cried over a text?
Probably. I don't care for those sad moments in life.

Where’s your last bruise located?
There's one, right on my right lower back, just where my pelvis starts. I don't know how I got it, but it hurts.

Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
Some random number called me asking for Telstra. Hate to break it to you buddy, but Telstra's number doesn't resemble a mobile phone number.

Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?
I don't have bad hair days. And if I do, I fix it before leaving the house.

Would you ever go bald if it was the style?
Who do you think you're talking to ?! Crazy.

Do you make supper for your family?
Huuuur "supper." I make dinner for Michael and I whenever we're at mine. Actually, I cooked dinner for mother and I tonight, so suck on that motherfuckers.

Does your bedroom have a door?
I don't understand why it would be missing...

Top 3 web-pages?
Facebook, blogger,

Do you know anyone who hates shopping?
I don't think so... Depends on the kind of shopping.

Does anything on your body hurt?
There's a weird ache coming from my back, just under my ribs. Worried.

How are you?
Tired, hungry and cuddleless.

What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
I'm good at spilling on others, not myself.

How is your hair?
The way it always is, except in a pony tail because I had work.

What do you usually do first in the morning?
Pee, brush teeth.

Do you think two people can last forever?
It can happen. Just because it doesn't happen every day, doesn't mean it doesn't at all.

Think back to January 2007, were you single?
I don't know, nor do I care. 2007 is in the past and irrelevant.

When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?
Tomorrow no doubt. I'll be seeing Michael, Kelly and Tim. HUGS ALL ROUND, BRO.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
I just wish Michael were here, and that he didn't have work tomorrow.

When will be the next time you text someone?
I always txt Michael in the mornings whenever we're apart. Awwww, sap story ftw.

Where will you be 5 hours from now?
I better be in bed.

How old do you look?
I look like I'm 18. I'm okay with that. When everyone else is 40 and looks it, I'll be 42 and look 30.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
Michael (:

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
There are countless. To assume there's only one makes it sound like I'm alone or something.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
I stayed at Michael's parents for most of the day, so yes.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
Tick tock. Tick tock. I can't stand the sound of clocks ticking.

Have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?
Yes, then I pick myself up and move on.

How many windows are open on your computer?
Google Chrome.

Love/Hate relationshp;

I hate birds. Haaaaaaate. I hate their beady little eyes. I hate their squawks. I hate the flapping sounds of their wings. I hate their creepy alien-like tongues. I hate the way they eat. I hate the way they poop on everything. I hate the way Seagulls hang around me at the beach. I hate how Swans make that terribly frightening noise when they come near you. I hate the way Ducks snap at the bread you feed them.
Yet, my blog background is of birds. And I like Owls and Peacocks because they're pretty looking birds. And I like bird cages as decorations. And feeding Ducks at ponds reminds me of my best friend, Celeste.

I hate whistling. Haaaaaaaaaaaate. Even more than birds. It's the #1 most annoying sound in the world. Babies crying is a gentle melody in comparison to whistling. The moment I hear someone whistle, I want to tear them to shreds. And it's not because I can't whistle, because I actually can - it's because it reminds me of my father, who I have a burning hatred for.
Yet, there are times where I momentarily forget that I hate whistling, and do it myself. That's when I want to kill myself most.

I hate the way I put so much effort into looking good when Michael and I go out. Haaaaate. I hate the way I feel the need to spend an hour straightening my hair, and then another hour doing my make up. I hate the way I'll change outfits several billion times during the day just so I can pick the outfit that shows off my body best. I hate the way I feel like there's going to be some petty competition between myself and any other girl at the same place. I hate the way I pick on my body for flaws that aren't even there. I hate the way I envy other girls who really do look better than me. I hate the fact that part of me wants to be the centre of attention every time I go out. I hate that part of me takes pleasure in receiving compliments from everyone.
Yet, I dislike being the centre of attention for any other reason. And I don't actually know how to respond to compliments when I get them, except for saying "Thank you." Even still, I continue to doll myself up every time we go somewhere.

I hate the way I want to be a writer. Haaaaaate. I hate that I'm too afraid to start seriously writing something because it means letting other people read it. I hate that I'm afraid of constructive criticism and fear that people will be "nice and gentle" with their criticism as to not hurt my feelings. I hate that I take it so personally, and that I feel so attached to the things I write. I hate that it's the only creative flair that I have, and therefore need to use it or lose it.
And yet, here I am; pouring out my heart and soul on this stupid blog that'll probably go nowhere. All because I'm too afraid.

EDIT: I also hate peanuts. Haaaaaaaate. I hate satay sauce with my dinner. I had crushed up peanuts on my sundaes. I hate peanuts in my fruit and nut bars. I hate peanuts in every way, shape and form.
Yet, I find myself capable of eating sugar coated peanuts. 

What the fuck is wrong with me ?! I am a walking contradiction.

Friday, April 22, 2011


I will to you the smell of burning leaves
Rusted windchimes and the feverish glow of fireflies
We were such terrible liars
We were such passionate lovers
We were such terrible liars
We were such passionate lovers
So call me on your long walks home
Where drunken voices bleed into one

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Maybe I'm a little bit morbid;

Death crosses my mind on a regular basis. That's not to say I want to die, or think about dying, or about others around me dying... It's just a factor of life that I cannot ignore. Especially considering that my job includes looking after people who are nearer to death than others. 

That statement doesn't sound right, "nearer to death than others." Something about that doesn't sit right with me. Why does age seem to be the only factor that people consider when thinking about when their "time to go" comes ?

I could go to sleep for the last time tonight, to never wake in the morning.

I'm 22 and considered young, but what's to say that I will wake up in the morning ? Or that I won't have a car accident on my way to work ? Or that someone won't break into my house and I'll die right there ? Last night I vomited in my sleep. I could have easily choked and died in my sleep had I not woken up. There are so many things that can happen in life to end it for some, things that don't have anything to do with age or health conditions. I think it's rather cruel to assume because you are young, you are invincible.

On the days that I actually attended school, my best friend, Jess and I discussed what we'd like to happen at our funerals. We were not emo/goth or anything of the sort. We simply looked at what was sure to happen in life, and death is one of those things. While other girls planned their weddings, we were planning our funerals. We couldn't be sure we'd get married, so we weren't about to waste valuable time dreaming of something that might not happen. I guess that's also why I doubt I'll get married even though I want to. 

Jess was more thorough than I was, but we had the general gist of it. We were planning funerals way before Funeral Insurance ever crossed anyone's mind. Back in 2004, I think. Maybe 2005... I'm just thinking of who my teacher was and trying to remember which year I had him for. I'm going to stick with 2004. So there you go, that's how long I've had this dancing around in my mind. Hello useless information. Point being - we had songs, ceremony and all that jazz sorted. That way if our lives did end earlier than anticipated, at least we'd have that bit covered. We're the kind of girls who like to prepare for the worst, you know ?

To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it that much over the past couple of years. I've been too busy with living a life outside of homework and assignments to think about this sort of thing. Recently though, it's unavoidable. My family has had some cancer dealings in the past year so it's made me wonder even more. And then I started recalling what I had planned previously and how much of that would change to accommodate the person I am now. And this whole post started thanks to a poem I found that I would like read at my funeral.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.
~ Mary Elizabeth Frye 1932

I don't really want a funeral. To me, a funeral means a viewing of the deceased, then a burial. That's not what I want. I want to be cremated, and my ashes scattered into the ocean. I don't want a ceremony where people talk about who I was or anything of the sort. I just want to be cremated, ashes to ashes, and then that poem read. I don't want it to linger around for people to dwell on. I want people to do what needs to be done, and then move on with their lives. I don't want them to think of me as always gone and lost into the history of the past. Just because I'm not longer physically here does not mean I won't live on in memories. That's how people become invincible. And that's how I want my life to end.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Infinite sense;

I cannot unlearn this. The man is a genius. He's also very handsome and sexy.


I shouldn't be surprised. Even when you make a personal attack at me like that, in front of everyone, you still got it wrong. Maybe if you had paid attention to the things I had said over the years you could have got it correct. Oh, wait. That'd mean spending your time focusing on someone other than yourself for a change, and you can't have that, can you ?
You used to be a jerk, now you're just a disappointment.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Today's events in dot points;

[Because I'm far too lazy today to write them out properly.]
  1. Woke up at 4:45am this morning thanks to a rather painful stomach ache.
  2. Woke up again at like 8:30am-9:00am or something-a-rather when Michael txtd me goodmorning. How sweet.
  3. Found out I was home alone. King of the fucking castle !
  4. Also found out that Michael would be working late and therefore could not attend the exciting matter of buying fishes together.
  5. Had a lengthy hot shower. And I mean hot. My feet and bottom are bright red when I get out.
  6. Put my clothes on after changing outfits a billion times and then decided that I'd much rather leave my hair curly today instead of straightening it because, let's face it, I'm a lazy motherfucker.
  7. Instead of making my usual scrambled eggs for breakfast, I swapped for a cup or two of chai tea and some pumpkin soup that tasted way too tangy to be normal. I threw out the soup and nearly burnt my tongue several times with my tea.
  8. Watched an episode of Naruto while leaving my laptop to charge, because the motherfucker doesn't like to work for me when it's operating and charging. 
  9. Attempted to write a blog several times after my laptop decided it wasn't going to work. Refer to #8 as to why my laptop is a hormonal bitch.
  10. Got an extra two shifts at work which results in giving up my Easter Monday to help others. Good on me, yes ? ;D
  11. 2:30pm finally rolled around, mother came home shortly, and then I ventured out into the retail world that is fish shopping.
  12. Bought my fish tank from K-Mart [$29] and then walked out realising that I still needed an extension lead for the tank pump to have any sort of electrical power while in my room.
  13. Walking around in another shop whilst holding onto a fish tank draws a great deal of attention. I bought my extension lead from The Reject Shop for some ridiculously cheap price. I'm not going to tell you exactly how much because I like to be a mysterious asshole for no reason.
  14. Finally left the shopping centre and embarked on my 20minute or so drive to the pet shop with the better fish.
  15. Juggled around in my mind which cold water fish I was going to get Michael and I. There were these particular fish that I wanted, Panda Moor, but they were too expensive for first time fishes. I don't want to pay more for my fish than my tank and then have them die on me.
  16. Finally got home after driving all over the place and attempted to set up my tank, only to realise the instructions say to set it up 24 hours prior to introducing new fish. We'll see about that.
  17. Poured out the bag of colourful rocks that came with said tank only to realise that there weren't enough rocks to cover the bottom of the tank, let alone cover up the plant so it didn't look stupid.
  18. Made another quick trip to the pet shop to pick up two bags of tank rocks ($12), and returned home.
  19. The pack of new rocks said that you should thoroughly rinse them before putting them in your tank, but I'm a fearless bastard and decided to skip that part.
  20. Went up to my room to finish setting up my tank. The cupboard I've placed my tank on is slightly out of reach and I can't move it on my own so it's stuck making a hideous sight of my room.
  21. Remember how I skipped rinsing those rocks ? Being a fearless bastard also makes you a fool. The water I poured in ending up looking dark and murky.
  22. After spending more time than I would have liked rinsing those stupid rocks, I finally put everything back in, filled it up and turned on the filter.
  24. Ichigo, being the cheeky bastard that he is, decided to suss out the bag filled with water sitting on my bed. Good thing I jumped in between quickly or they'd have been an early dinner for him.
  25. I am now sitting on my bed, doing this, while that fucking filter is bubbling away and annoying me. Michael should be here soon, and I'm still yet to decide on what to have for dinner.
This is what Panda Moor look like. So pretty :3
My day was so tiresome and completely dragged out longer than it needed to be. I should have gone shopping and whatever earlier in the day. But like we all know, I'm a lazy motherfucker who sat on their ass all day instead. And I'm so foolish that I won't learn a lesson from this time and will proceed to repeat my slack behaviour in future. Thank fuck it's all over now.

Oh, and I realised something today - if a male comments/posts a status with several unnecessary exclamation marks, I have a tendency to read what they wrote in this high pitched choir boy voice. None of them deserve a testosterone filled voice inside my head if they insist on writing like an idiot.


Saturday, April 16, 2011

Somewhere over the rainbow;

Disclaimer: I am writing this post on my phone as I'm at Michael's house and therefore do not have my laptop. If there are any mistakes, which I'm sure there will be, please ignore them. iPhone auto correct can be really mean at the best of times.

So, if you haven't read back far enough, you wouldn't know (unless we have each other on FB) that I've become employed recently. In fact, yesterday was my first shift. I was an absolute nervous wreck the night before, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat breakfast the morning of, and was so scared the moment the front door of my client's house opened that I didn't know what to say.

"Nobody's home. Go away."
She gave me an awful fright and I thought she'd be one of those angry elderly people. Good thing she was a lovely lady and enjoys an old prank here and there. She told me all about to her life over biscuits and tea, then we read magazines and ate ice cream. Mind you, I was getting paid $21 an hour to do so. Hell-fucking-yes !

I'm pretty passionate about my career and what I want to become further down the track. Becoming an Aged Care Worker is the first step. I think I'm going to do a Cert III in Childcare next, because as a community care worker I work with a variety of people, not just the elderly. Then I'm going to spend as much time as possible working so that I can save up loads of money. In 2012 I'd like to start studying for my Enrolled Nurse degree, which will then further allow me to study for my Registered Nurse degree. It'll be at that point when I finally reach what I know I'm meant to do for the rest of my life.

And because Michael knows how passionate I am about becoming a nurse, he bought me an early 2 year anniversary present. Don't worry, there's still another present for our actual 2 year anniversary celebrations, but that's not until 5th of May ;D

(I don't know how clear these photos are as I'm on my phone but hopefully it came out well.)
These are top of the line nurse watches. Extremely expensive for such a small thing, but ohbaby is it worth it. He went one step further and did something I never thought he would.

It's engraved with "Pocketz. Love your Bear." Bear is the nickname I gave him. Long story short - he's got a manly chest covered in hair that reminds me of a bear, and we like to cuddle often, so I called him my Cuddle Bear. It was then shortened to Bear because the cuddle part makes him sound girly and it's weird.

When I turned it over and read the engravement, I got all happy and then I started to cry. Only for a fraction, but I haven't been that happy in a very long time. I'm not ashamed to admit that either. Just goes to show how well he really does know me.

So there you go. Now you know what's happened recently. When I start getting regular shifts, I'll be sure to share my experiences with you (:

Oh, and one last thing. I have to vent this now or I'll explode at the next person who does it.
Can you PLEASE learn the difference between "brought" and "bought" ?
Brought is the past tense of "bring". Bought is the past tense of "buy". How fucking hard is that to remember ?! This is nowhere near on par with people who confuse their/there/they're or your/you're or even two/too/to. Those confusions are easily made because the words sound the same. Brought and bought do not. Get it right, assholes.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Live every day like it's your last;

The thing I really love about the Harry Potter book is that it's cut out right until the chapter titled The Unbreakable Vow. The second book has a pop out ring box, which I think is unbelievably adorable because I adore pop out books. And I'm a sucker for clocks.

Oh, and I realise this is the second post within the week about marriage. I don't want to get married right now. I was on weheartit and the Harry Potter book happened to be on the home page. I thought it was cute. Then I found the second book. I don't know why I'm defending myself. I guess I'm paranoid people will read into this too much and think I'm trying to hint at something. I'm not. I just think it's cute, h'okay ? Now back off.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What I would do with $8,500;

That Old Chestnut dress - $850

Story of Creation jumpsuit - $550

Thoughts to Ponder pant - $490

And the Beat Goes On short - $390
Every Little Piece dress - $490
Love and Time singlet dress - $250
The Supernatural tee - $240
Wild One pant - $350
One More Night dress - $550
The Reunion short - $290 
Jump for Space jumpsuit - $650
Your Time Will Come dress - $590
Be in the Moment - $590
Friends and Lovers pump - $750
A Better Place belt - $590
Wild and Free cuff - $320
The Lost Innocence double ring - $180
All of the things I want from Sass & Bide totals to $8,120. That leaves me with $380, which I'd probably just spend on a new camera. I have expensive tastes, what I can I say ;D

Edit: Instead of spending that left over $380 on a new camera which I do not need, I'd actually buy my wonderful boyfriend a Nintendo 3DS and Pokemon White.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sleepless thoughts;

I hate the fact that divorce has become such a convenience. It's ruined the perfect ideal of marriage. It's a life long commitment that you've got to give your all. I hate when people say they don't want to have any financial ties to their married partner in case it ends in divorce. It's you fucktards out here with that mentality that ruin marriage for the rest of us. "For richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health" They're not just empty words. There's a reason why people say their vowels to each other. It's a life long promise. If you doubt your ability to commit 100% for the rest of your life, then don't get married. It's that fucking simple.

Stop ruining the idea of marriage for me. You're starting to scare me enough not to do it. And to be honest, it's something I really do want. I think my life would be awfully empty if I wasn't able to find someone so spectacular that I wanted to share my life, my EVERYTHING, with.

Ohyeah, when I get married [and I will] these are going on my cake

Monday, April 11, 2011

Wake up, you've got the blues;

The most important thing you can do in your life is to follow your heart. Do whatever makes you happy, even if others get hurt. You cannot spend the rest of your life living off other people's happiness. That's like breathing in the breath of another. There's no substance to it. Your lungs feel empty. And if you don't start living off your own happiness, your heart will feel empty.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Mindless bullshit;

I keep writing things down, and then doing this. I can't keep a constant thought going through my head. I get distracted with other things swirling around. It's been going on for days now. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm so happy that I want to spend more of my time being happy than being here, doing this, alone in bed all by myself. Michael's at work FYI - I'm not some social hermit. Actually, I probably am. I could have gone to a friend's house, or gone out to town, but instead I had a nap that turned into a 4 hour sleep. And here I am, boring you out of your mind with my mindless bullshit.

It feels like Sunday today. It's actually Saturday night. Sunday night means City & Colour, which is clearly not happening right now. As excited as I am for it, I'm too sleepy right now to feel it. I don't know why I'm not making the most of my Saturday night. Well, I'm not wasting it, really. Here I am, pouring out more mindless bullshit.
The Girl - City & Colour. This is my favourite song. I'll probably cry when I hear it. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Oh yeah, I got a job by the way. In four days, I found myself employed.
Monday - resume was sent out.
Tuesday - quick phone interview and made a time for a physical interview.
Wednesday - physical interview [mind you, it was the easiest interview ever. I probably mentioned that in my previous post, but I'm too scattered to remember].
Thursday - Received a call back that my references checked out and was offered the job.
That is by far the quickest it's ever taken me. And I've had to turn down two other interviews because I took the first offer. TWO. I don't know about you, but I've never been so busy with interviews and such in my life. I definitely made the right decision with my career.
& I still sent out 60 resumes on Tuesday, which means I also have to turn down those interviews. Joy.

With the new job comes money, and with money in my hands, Michael and I can finally move out. We can go back to the way things were - buying each other surprises and mornings & nights together. We can go back to the shadow puppets & 20 questions before bed. We can go back to play fights in the morning and not getting out of bed for hours. We can go back to making each other dinner and watching movies on the couch. We can go back to playing with Ichigo together and taking silly photos. We can go back to the way things are best.
& mother's response to my employment was, "OH, so that means you'll be moving out. And we just started getting along again." I told her to buy a dog. She said it wouldn't be the same. Always good to know you'll be missed.

Yesterday's weather was really warm. Like 30 degrees Celsius, which is like 86 Fahrenheit or whatever. I wore shorts yesterday because it was warm, and I went to a friend's house party without a change of clothes because I intended on going home that night. Like always, plans changed and I ended up staying the night. Woke up this morning with rain pouring down and still those shorts to wear. Michael and I went shopping today and I was freezing cold. So what did I do ? Bought a new pair of jeans. $40 marked down to $27, HA ! The thing that interested me about the jeans the most was the sizes listed on the tag - AUS 8 USA 4. In Australia, a size 8 means you're skinny. Like teeney weeney. As far as I know, with popular media misconceptions and all that, a size 4 in the US is not small. It's like average, or something. Fucked if I know, but I don't care. I'm just happy that I'm comfortable with my body.

I've been listening to the Maccabees a lot lately. They're one of those bands you can listen to all the time regardless of what's going on around you. They make me feel good about life. There's not much to complain about but you know what I mean.

I asked a question and received an answer I knew I wouldn't like. Why do we do that to ourselves ? It kind of killed a little bit of hope inside of me. It's a good thing I never voiced my opinion on the subject or I would have looked like a fool. This is one of those cases where it's better to have said nothing than to have said something. It would complicate the matter, and I'm not one for complications. I don't think things between us will ever be quite the same. On a broad scale, things won't change, but the little things will. And it's those little things that ruin everything.

What else can I bore you with...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

We we we so excited;


I spent Tuesday photocopying 60 copies of my resume, then folding and putting them into envelopes so I could mail them out to the surrounding residential care places in my area. Yesterday I had a job interview for a community based place, and today I had a telephone interview with a not for profit organisation, which got me into the group interview in a couple weeks time.

Michael found out today that his hours at work are going to become regular so he'll be able to get proper sleep, and we'll be able to spend more time together. Plus, saving will become easier knowing he'll be earning the same each week. Moving out together comes next.

I'm seeing my best friend, Celeste, today for the first time in what feels like forever. The best thing about our friendships is the drunken bathroom promise we made almost two years ago. We promised that no matter what we'd always be sisters. Boys come and go, but we'll always be there for each other - even if we're too busy with what's going on in our own lives to see each other every day, like it used to be.

Finally on top of all my money. Keeping track of my phone bill so I don't end up with another $200 extra one. That was not fun and ruined my social life.

A while back the Attourney General tried to pass a new piercing law that prevented anyone under 16 years of age to get a piercing, even with parental consent. Today he passed the new piercing laws but was smart and listened to Out of Step [my extremely good friends and extremely skilled body piercers] and set the age of consent to 16 years for all non genital piercings.

City & Colour is in a couple of days. Sunday night actually. Super duper pumped for that. I think I may cry. Who cares. Dallas Green is an amazing man with an angelic voice. HQ will be transformed into a heaven come Sunday night.
The joke is that prior to HQ the nightclub, it used to be called Heaven. See what I did there. Ah, forget it. Adelaide people would find it amusing.

&&& it's not even 12.30pm yet. Sweet fucking Jeebus.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

You say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one;

You were in my dream last night. We haven't seen each other or spoken in two years, and it's been a great two years. I have something I'd like you to hear, even though you won't read this. I won't remember if per chance I was to bump into you, so I'll say this here. 

I was never really in love with you. I was in love with the idea of who you were. All your interests were made up so we had something to talk about. That's how pathetic our time together was. We filled a void that no other could, and we lied our pants off. Quite literally, actually. The part of you that attracted me to you was false. I could have never been in love with a part of you that didn't exist. The only lie I ever told you was that I loved you. For that, I'm not sorry. You were as deceitful to me as I was to you. That's all there is to it. That's all there ever was to it.

Dreams about people you haven't seen in two years really makes you take notice of how much has changed. And it's such a shame you never did change. You could have been quite the amazing person.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I used to know you so well;

You used to tell me that you were the best damn thing that ever happened in my life. That everything I ever was, was made into brilliance because you willed it so. And for some time, a really long time actually, I believed you. I thought I couldn't be who I am without you apart of it. I honestly thought I'd lose the will to do anything if I lost you. I gave you all my faith and wished things between us would always remain the same.

Fuck, I was so wrong.

Letting go of the past was the best damn thing that ever happened in my life. I am the best person I can be because I dropped you into the black abyss of my past. You were nothing more than a mere chapter of my life. You are not the story to my life, nor the reason why my story is so great. You are nothing. At least, not any more. Each time I failed with you is an example of the weak person I used to be. It won't happen again.

I broke every promise that I made with you. This time things will be different. I promise you that.

They say, home is where the heart is. My heart isn't with you. It's wherever my life wanders to.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Go on girl, let your hair down;

By the end of the year, my hair should hopefully be something like this. All natural and long, oh yes ! I need to do more oil treatments and stop cutting it. Goodbye short layers; hello long gorgeous hair. I cannot wait. Next summer is going to be heaven.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

/inject sarcasm & inappropriate comments here;

Why the fuck am I only funny when I'm being sarcastic or completely inappropriate ?