they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Mindless bullshit;

I keep writing things down, and then doing this. I can't keep a constant thought going through my head. I get distracted with other things swirling around. It's been going on for days now. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm so happy that I want to spend more of my time being happy than being here, doing this, alone in bed all by myself. Michael's at work FYI - I'm not some social hermit. Actually, I probably am. I could have gone to a friend's house, or gone out to town, but instead I had a nap that turned into a 4 hour sleep. And here I am, boring you out of your mind with my mindless bullshit.

It feels like Sunday today. It's actually Saturday night. Sunday night means City & Colour, which is clearly not happening right now. As excited as I am for it, I'm too sleepy right now to feel it. I don't know why I'm not making the most of my Saturday night. Well, I'm not wasting it, really. Here I am, pouring out more mindless bullshit.
The Girl - City & Colour. This is my favourite song. I'll probably cry when I hear it. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

Oh yeah, I got a job by the way. In four days, I found myself employed.
Monday - resume was sent out.
Tuesday - quick phone interview and made a time for a physical interview.
Wednesday - physical interview [mind you, it was the easiest interview ever. I probably mentioned that in my previous post, but I'm too scattered to remember].
Thursday - Received a call back that my references checked out and was offered the job.
That is by far the quickest it's ever taken me. And I've had to turn down two other interviews because I took the first offer. TWO. I don't know about you, but I've never been so busy with interviews and such in my life. I definitely made the right decision with my career.
& I still sent out 60 resumes on Tuesday, which means I also have to turn down those interviews. Joy.

With the new job comes money, and with money in my hands, Michael and I can finally move out. We can go back to the way things were - buying each other surprises and mornings & nights together. We can go back to the shadow puppets & 20 questions before bed. We can go back to play fights in the morning and not getting out of bed for hours. We can go back to making each other dinner and watching movies on the couch. We can go back to playing with Ichigo together and taking silly photos. We can go back to the way things are best.
& mother's response to my employment was, "OH, so that means you'll be moving out. And we just started getting along again." I told her to buy a dog. She said it wouldn't be the same. Always good to know you'll be missed.

Yesterday's weather was really warm. Like 30 degrees Celsius, which is like 86 Fahrenheit or whatever. I wore shorts yesterday because it was warm, and I went to a friend's house party without a change of clothes because I intended on going home that night. Like always, plans changed and I ended up staying the night. Woke up this morning with rain pouring down and still those shorts to wear. Michael and I went shopping today and I was freezing cold. So what did I do ? Bought a new pair of jeans. $40 marked down to $27, HA ! The thing that interested me about the jeans the most was the sizes listed on the tag - AUS 8 USA 4. In Australia, a size 8 means you're skinny. Like teeney weeney. As far as I know, with popular media misconceptions and all that, a size 4 in the US is not small. It's like average, or something. Fucked if I know, but I don't care. I'm just happy that I'm comfortable with my body.

I've been listening to the Maccabees a lot lately. They're one of those bands you can listen to all the time regardless of what's going on around you. They make me feel good about life. There's not much to complain about but you know what I mean.

I asked a question and received an answer I knew I wouldn't like. Why do we do that to ourselves ? It kind of killed a little bit of hope inside of me. It's a good thing I never voiced my opinion on the subject or I would have looked like a fool. This is one of those cases where it's better to have said nothing than to have said something. It would complicate the matter, and I'm not one for complications. I don't think things between us will ever be quite the same. On a broad scale, things won't change, but the little things will. And it's those little things that ruin everything.

What else can I bore you with...

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