they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Positive thinking;

H'okay. I'm going to tell you something about myself, that I honestly believe to be true, which will ultimately make me sound crazy. And not the good kind of crazy. The you-belong-in-a-mental-institution kind of crazy. Here goes.

Whenever I want something, all I ever have to do is think positively about it, and it comes to me.

What I'm saying is, I always get what I want. Without the required effort of devising a plan, putting it into action and reaping my rewards. I mean to say, if I want it, it comes to me. I don't make things happen, they just do. I know, I know, I sound ludicrous but it's just how things in my life work out.

"No fate but what we create." That's tattooed on my left hip. It's a reminder, and a quote I live by, to show that I believe we make our lives into whatever we create them to be. And I do this by positive thinking and then things magically working out in my favour. I'll list you some examples and then you can get my straight jacket.

When I was a little girl, I always wished for a Barbie Camper Van. Fuck you, I was innocent once upon a time. It was always what I wished for, and in the innocent belief of wishes, I actually never told anyone because I didn't want to spoil my wish. BAM. That year for Christmas, mother got me one.

I dated a boy, who broke up with me for another girl, who then broke up with her for me. She didn't take to it kindly and did every manipulative thing she could to get him back. She fought with him countless times to make him unhappy whenever he was around me, she told him lies about me so he would break up with me, and did a whole bunch of other crap I won't get into. The whole time, all I kept thinking was that I wanted her to cross the line, have a big massive fight with him, and then they'd never speak again. Two weeks later, BAM. They still don't speak even though I'm not his girlfriend anymore.

I'm sitting in my car, listening to the radio, whilst singing a different song in my head. Everyone knows that the only way to get rid of a song stuck in your head is to listen to it, so I kept thinking about this stupid song. BAM. Next song on the radio is the one in my head.

I get hungry a lot, more so around dinner time because that's when I have my biggest meal. I get fussy when it comes to food, and when I get cravings, I have to have what I want or people get hurt. Every time I get a craving, I sit there mentally drooling over the meal. BAM. Next thing I know, someone suggests we have it for dinner.
This happens more frequently than anything else.

I was involved with another boy, who's evil ex-girlfriend wouldn't leave him alone. As much as he tried to be civil with her, all she wanted was for him to break things off with me and get back together with her. I spent like a week or two imagining how happy life would be if she just moved back home with her parents, in another state. BAM. A month later, she moved states and everything went back to normal.
Ironically, this almost sounds like my current boyfriend and his ex's situation, but it's not.

I always wanted a faux fur coat for winter. I love animal print and the coats are so warm and snug, but unfortunately it was spring when I desired one the most. I thought there would be no harm in looking because you never know what you find. BAM. I found one the next day, and for the exact price I wanted.
This happens a lot as well.

Last night, I was talking to my boyfriend's mum about how I need a second job. I need one because my current one isn't offering me enough hours and therefore I cannot move out of home. My boyfriend's mum suggested I take in my resume to a specific place near by because she heard they were looking for staff. I said that I had already posted out a hard copy of my resume and cover letter to them previously. BAM. I got a call this morning, and scored a job interview on Friday.

You may now bring my straight jacket to me. I'm cold so the layers will add warmth.

No, but seriously. This is how things in my life have turned out so well. I could list about a billion different examples but I can't be bothered. And honestly, they'd make me sound even more crazy. I just... I honestly think that if you send out positive vibes into the world, positive things come back to you. I'm not saying these things happen immediately, because that would be too crazy, even for me, but they do happen. This is why I'm such a patient person. Because I believe if you think positively, and you wait long enough, things will come to you at the right time.
Things always get better, but only if you believe.

And don't you dare try and pull that "This is God's will" bullshit on me. I'll slap you so hard you'll end up in hell. I don't believe in God, or any higher power. I'm not really sure what I place these happenings in, but it's not because of God or whatever. I'm spiritual, if anything, and I'm not going to declare that I get what I want thanks to spirituality. I don't require a reason why these things happen.

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