they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ding dong;

Well, this is awkward. I'm that 20% who didn't meet anyone at the age of 16. Thinking about it now, when I was 16, I was too busy with my xbox and Nintendo 64 to worry about boys. N3RD LYF~

But seriously, these sorts of "facts" piss me off. The boy I was dating years ago was in fact 16 [though I was older, as usual], which would imply that I would be the person he's going to marry. Considering we're no longer together, this "fact" is invalid. Unless, of course, he happens to be that 20% who never got to meet that person. See why I hate these stupid things ?

You know what I also dislike ? The fact that everyone, and I mean everyone, who asks how long Michael and I have been together, automatically assumes we're going to get married because two years is a "long time to date." Excuse me, but I'll be the one to judge that, thank you very much. Two years, in the whole scheme of things, really isn't that much. I mean, think about it - getting married means for the rest of my life - which is roughly around another 60 or so years [providing I don't have any accidents along the way]. Two years, in my opinion, is hardly enough time to determine whether we'd last 60 years or not. For goodness sake, we're only just about to move out together.

And this sort of "pressure" is coming from almost everyone, except the two people who matter most - Michael and myself. His mum, my mother, my grandparents, a few of our friends, almost everyone I work with, almost all of my residents... Everyone ! Yo, back the fuck up, please. I use the word "pressure" lightly, and with quotation marks, to emphasise that it's not pressure that's going to amount to something, it's pressure that makes me want to kill people. I dislike this idea that people have some sort of expectation that we're totally, undeniably, 100% in love with each other so much so that we're ready to make a life long commitment. I mean, yes, we're in love and we're happy, but seriously; marriage ? My cat, Ichigo, is one life long commitment enough. I don't need people pushing the idea of marriage and kids on me any more than I need someone giving me a lobotomy.

If, and when, I'm ready to get married, you'll be the first to know. Until then, let me live out my relationship the way I see best. I don't want people "pressuring" us to get married, or have this crazy expectation, at such an early stage of our relationship. In reality, Michael and I might not last that long. As hard as it is to admit that, and as much as I don't want to break up, the truth is that it might one day end. Besides, I made Michael promise me never to promise something he couldn't keep - no exceptions. This is one of those things I would rather leave a mystery than have him promise, us break up, and then feel like a complete utter fool for thinking it was ever possible.

Ugh, I'm not like other girls. I'm not like you, either. Is it really that strange ?


  1. thats just a stupid statistic, dont listen., NO ONE gets married to their first person. BULLSHIT.

  2. I have a very hard time believing in that statistic. A far as getting married goes my partner and I have been dating for over 10 years, we like it and will never get married.

  3. I always felt awkward telling people that marriage isn't on the cards right now. We don't even joke about the matter, because it's too soon for us to do that. I mean, in a couple of years or so, I might change my mind. But that's not the present case. Haha, glad to see some people agree with me.