they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Going back on my word;

I always said I would never let myself attach a memory of a specific person to a favourite song of mine. I went back on my word the night I heard this song live; the night you said this song was for me. I don't think you understood how much this song meant to me, and how much more it means now. I promised myself that I wouldn't make an exception because I was afraid that I could no longer listen to my favourite song without feeling a huge emptiness if things went awry between us. I guess I'm not afraid of that happening. Maybe I am but I just don't care about that possibility because it's not happening now.

That's one of the greatest things about being with you; that I live in the moment; I live in the now. I haven't been able to do that in years. I have you to thank for teaching me such wonderful things that I had once forgotten. It's like you spring life into the parts of me that I thought had died off, or at least been hidden so far away that I couldn't find them anymore. For as long as I've known of my ability to write, I've always been a tragedy writer. I could never write anything pleasing, or remotely happy. That was, until you came into the picture. Now, I play songs that remind me of content moments together and it pours out. I can't control it, and if this post is anything to go by, it feels as natural as riding bike for the first time in several years. Kind of one of those things you never forget how to do. Like walking, or chewing without biting my tongue. Or the same way you know you're meant to swing your legs back and forth to go higher on the playground swings.

The way you affect me is unlike any other. It's beyond crazy. It's beautiful. Wonderful. Incredible. Sensational. Angelic. Marvellous. Exquisite. Fascinating. It's every part of everything that makes up being perfect rolled up into one. You bring out feelings within myself that I've never felt before. Honest.

I'm going out on a limb saying all of this - declaring how magical all of this is to me. I don't think you understand how exceptional you really are. I find you positively captivating and enchanting.

1 comment:

  1. Namaste sister, I hope he or she appreciates your presence.

    In Lak' ech, prosper in love...