they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Monday, August 15, 2011

Day 14 - your earliest memory;

This is going to be a struggle. When my parents got divorced, I sort of forced myself to forget what happened in my life when my father was apart of it. Most people think I'm just ignorant, but I physically cannot remember being places even though there's photographic proof. What I can remember is hazy, and I'm not really sure if it happened or my imagination is getting the better of me. I clearly remember events from the ages of 10 and up, but everything before that is murky.

What I do remember is my first wobbly tooth. I'm not entirely sure it happened the way I remember but I'll share it anyway.

I was 5 years old, give or take, and I told my mum that my tooth felt funny and it was coming out. I remember standing outside her bedroom door, which was just next to the main entrance and the lounge room. She told my father, who then proceeded to check it out. Sure enough, it was wobbly. He went outside, came back inside with string, and tied it around my tooth. This is where I'm pretty sure my imagination gets the better of me. He yanked it out of my mouth, a great deal sooner than it was due, and blood poured out my mouth like a running tap. I cupped my hands over my mouth, crying from the insane amount of pain I was in. My father drew up the string to find my tooth, but somehow it came out of the noose and was lost. We searched everywhere in that lounge room to find it, but nothing came out. My first tooth, ripped out before its time, and my father lost is. He was never good at anything, I shouldn't have been surprised.

I'm pretty sure that's the earliest memory I have. I remember it happening in a house where I was a lot younger compared to all of my other memories. Anything else I sort of remember is in a different house. I only remember snippets of things, never a whole story. That's why it gets confusing when my mother shows me photos of when I was younger and I can only remember less than 30 seconds of that place. Everything else is built upon the stories my mother has told me over the years, and you know what children can be with their imaginations.

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