they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Sunday, October 2, 2011

.;

Once upon a time, I would have fought until my dying breath to keep you apart of my life. But "once upon a time" isn't now, and now things are different. The way I look at this is different, and you only have yourself to blame for it. You told me not to worry, that you'd be okay without my help, so now I don't care. Just like you asked.

I'm not going to try and convince you to stay apart of my life. I'm not. I believe that it's your choice, completely. I shouldn't have to tell you why it'd be good to stay; you should already know. You might think I'm giving up, but that's not it at all. I'm going to do the one thing I knew I'd have to eventually do, the one thing I'm most terrified of - I'm going to put all my trust in you. Trust that you'll know staying is good for you, that staying will make you happy, that I'll make you happy. Trust in everything you've said up until this point. Trust that none of this was pretend, that none of this were lies, that you've been 100% honest with me 100% of the time.

Why ?

Because that's what best friends do, right ? Best friends have this unique ability to read each others' minds, but with you it's different. It's like, no matter how hard I try, I can never get past what's right in front of me. You never let me see past your defense. You still keep me on the outside.
And now, I'm trusting you to let me in. It's up to you.

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