they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sex in a relationship - is it really that important ?;

Let's start off with a basic rule of thumb:
Sex does not always mean love, and love does not always mean sex.
On a personal level, sex in a relationship is sitting near the very top of the list I have for, "What makes a relationship successful and last long term." It's not at the very top, but it's pretty damn close. For me, connecting with another person on a level I don't share with anyone else must work perfectly. If I'm going to have sex with you, it's because I want to bring you closer to me than anyone else. It's why I don't have frequent casual sex with boys whose names I don't remember. That's just my opinion. I don't care if you engage in promiscuous encounters on the regular; not my business and most certainly not my body.

I don't think intimacy is the only factor when it comes to sex - physical satisfaction is 100% required and relevant. Trust me on this one. If the sex is bad, then the relationship will fail. That's part of the reason why I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. Sex goes bad > relationship goes bad > everything ends. If you've ever had bad sex, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. It will eventually turn you off that person. Being around them makes you feel uncomfortable, and when you get down to doing the naughty business, you'd rather nail your foot to the ceiling than go through with the horizontal boogie.

That said, I don't have a problem with going without sex. It's not a daily requirement, and if it doesn't happen that night, then it doesn't happen. I don't need it to feel good about my relationship. And quite frankly, speaking as a woman, I'm rather used to postponing plans thanks to "Aunt Flow," if you know what I mean. Sure, it's fun, it feels fucking fantastic, and it can bring two people closer together, but it doesn't ultimately make up a happy, loving, honest, trustworthy relationship.

You can still have a successful and long term relationship with someone without sex, but it's all personal preference. It's the one time, I personally feel, that I can synchronise my body with my boyfriend's. And it feels on-top-of-the-world amazing.

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