Mother: Are you working tomorrow ?
Me: You know, my roster is on the fridge for you to check for a reason...
Mother: What's your problem ?
Me: I'm sick of you asking me shit questions all the time. "When are you coming home ? Where are you ? When are you working next ?" blah blah blah blah. You don't even ask how I am anymore, how work is going, how my day was, nothing. Only shit that doesn't matter.
Mother: Well sooooooooooorryyyyy. I won't ask anymore questions. What if something was to happen ?! Then what ?!
Me: Even if something was to happen, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN ASK BECAUSE YOU NEVER DO.
Mother: Just get out of my face ! Go back to your fucking room ! I don't want to look at you !
Me: I would, but you told me to stop being anti-social so now I'm sitting here instead.
Mother: Just get out ! I don't care, I don't want to see your face !
Me: ...then don't look up ?
Mother: For fucks sake, I'm sick of your shit ! Just shut up and go to your room ! I don't want to look at your face !
Me: Then stop looking at me. I'm just sitting here on my laptop, doing nothing that involves you whatsoever.
For the love of the Universe, someone please tell me how the fuck I ended up with a child for a mother !?