they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Dreaming and the subconscious;

I always decipher my dreams if they strike me as odd or feel really powerful. I’m not into spirituality that much, and I don’t believe dreams can foretell possible future outcomes, but I do believe they’re an insight into the subconscious mind. I think they’re a great portal into the part of my thinking and feeling that I don’t acknowledge is really happening. The other day I posted about how I’m feeling much better and more positive about life and all that junk. That night I had a really emotionally powerful dream. In all my life, there has only been one time where I’ve felt as happy and over the moon content as I did in my dream. When I woke up to an empty bed, that happiness disappeared instantly and I felt cheated. I know exactly how happy I can be, the exact kind of happiness I’ve been looking for since the last time I found it, and my mind cheated the experience.

I dreamt that a certain someone proposed to me, and I said yes. The ring was incredibly large.

There’s obviously a lot more to my dream, but that’s the part that stuck with me the most. I have never, ever, everrrrr had a dream about someone I know asking me to marry them. Or even one with a stranger. Fantasizing about weddings and marriages and all that jazz is not my thing. But this, this wouldn’t leave my mind until I sat down and thought about it properly.

I started to over think and overreact about it. All my life I’ve always said that getting engaged and married in my mid-20’s is when I want to do it. OHMYGOODNESS, I’M OFFICIALLY IN MY MID-20’S THIS YEAR. I’LL BE 24, THAT’S MID-20’S ! Is my subconscious trying to tell me it’s time ? Am I really ready for that kind of commitment ? Do I really love that certain someone more than I’m letting on ? Maybe it’s just one of those things that happens to every girl ? I mean, I’ve never felt this way about someone before so I can’t possibly be feeling like that now, can I ? Blah, blah, blah, blaaaaaaaaah.

I’m realistic, and if I’m to remain that way, I don’t get my hopes up about anything gigantic like that. I thought looking it up might be of some interest, because I knew the dream didn’t literally mean I wanted to get married, and it doesn't.
Proposal.To dream that you are being proposed to indicates that you are merging a previously unknown aspect of yourself. More directly, the dream may mean that you are thinking about marriage or some serious long-term commitment/project/situation. Are you thinking about proposing to someone? Your reaction to the proposal indicates your true feelings about marriage or commitment.Ring. To see or receive a ring in your dream symbolizes emotional wholeness, continuity, commitments and honor. If the ring is on your finger, then it signifies your commitment to a relationship or to a new endeavor. You are loyal to your ideals, responsibilities, or beliefs.
Phew. So glad all it meant was that I feel like I’m coming together as a whole person. After all these years of trying to be the happiest and best person I can be, I think I’m finally there. Now just to hold onto it.

Aaaaaaaand as for the, “Ohmygoodness, I’m 24 this year. What about marriage ?!” overreaction - the idea of marriage is more pleasing to me now than before. That still doesn’t mean I want to get married now, it just means that I’m sure, one day when I’m ready, it’d be nice to settle down and have a family and stuff.

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