they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Sunday, March 4, 2012

6:53am on a Sunday morning.

I’m cranking Good Charlotte on my car stereo to get me pumped for what I’m sure will be a terrible day at work. Never again will I do three 7am-3pm shifts in a row while staying in the same ward that I hate. My body isn’t designed for this shit.

I woke up this morning to realise that I’m actually sleeping solid nights and falling asleep within half an hour or less. Michael sent me a txt last night about 30 minutes after I went to bed and I didn’t hear my phone go off. This is a huge accomplishment for me ! I haven’t been able to do that in over a year. Ultimately that means I’m not stressed anymore ! No more anxiety attacks or depression spells. I don’t remember the last time I felt like that or even close to it. I can’t begin to describe how happy I am these days. Life is brilliant. Just super incredible.

For the record - I was first diagnosed with anxiety at 15-16 years old and depression at 17 years old. I was diagnosed with depression a second time at 21 years old, after I thought I had it under control and reduced down to anxiety. I’m now 23 years old and this is the first time since I was 16 that I feel like the real me. It feels so good to be free.

2 comments:

  1. i'm so glad you've managed to find that freedom from depression/ anxiety and the happiness you deserve. may i ask what helped reduce the anxiety attacks? i'm struggling with this big time! x

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  2. Anxiety attacks, I find, are the hardest to manage because they're unpredictable. For me, it's all about realising that I'm about to have one, or that I'm currently having one, and taking a step back to really think about what I'm fretting over. Most of the time I can calm myself down and tell myself that if I keep panicking, I won't resolve my problem.

    I'm about to write another post about my strategies on coping with anxiety and depression (: Figured I'd might as well since you're not the first person to ask, haha.

    I hope that you find ways to cope really soon ! I know how much of a struggle it can be, and stressing over being already stressed makes it a billion times worse to manage x

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