they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Wot evn.

March 2011

December 2012

Wednesday, December 26, 2012


Just did 100 squats, 100 toe touches and 100 cross over jabs while boiling the kettle and making a cup of tea. Need to get myself a treadmill or cross trainer or something so I can start a HIIT program.

New Years Resolutions:

  1. Stay on top of finances.
  2. Pass first year of uni with as near perfect grades.

Now excuse me while I go back to sitting on my fat ass reading manga.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012


I’ve had two people ask today if I really am pregnant.


I ate diary. I’m lactose intolerant. I bloated enough that I looked like I was pregnant. We made a joke. Sarcasm does not transcend over the internet very well. I also hate children. Fact.

Christmas Eve dinner!

So Monday afternoon, a bunch of my friends and I went to Trev’s house for Christmas Eve dinner. Only a few family members were included so it was really lovely to spend some proper time catching up with everyone. Dinner was ah-mazing! Michael and I brought ice cream, Hannah made a salad, Rachel made a chicken pasta bake, there was a Thai beef salad, a lamb (I think?) noodle salad, bread rolls, homemade giant Wagon Wheels, custard, cherry cheesecake, a veggie salad, bread rolls aaaaaand I think that was it. I don’t know, there was so much food. All I remember is going back for seconds, ha!

We drank lots, watched MTV Christmas songs, talked so much shit, made a dick joke thanks to Bella being naughty, and then opened our Secret Santa presents. I had Denise, so I bought her 6 large wine glasses and a big block of Toblerone, which she loved (: Michaela had me, so she got me an amazing purple yoga mat so we can do Bikram yoga together next year! Denise had Michael, and he got the coolest Chewbacca slippers. They’re actually so cool. Michael had Paschal so he got him Howl’s Moving Castle on DVD. Bella had Hannah, so she got this really cool decanter for red wine. Rachel had Bella and gave her this really cute solar garden lamps. I can’t really remember who got who and what after that, and you probably don’t care. Larry came over eventually since he didn’t have any plans, and we stayed up to midnight to wish each other Merry Christmas.

I woke up in the morning hungover, which was the plan so I wasn’t mad about that. Bella cooked up the best breakfast, as always, and then Rachel drove me home. There ya go!

Plan "make sure I'm hungover on Christmas Day"

Result: Success.

Dear Santa (aka myself),

Thank you for toilets, greasy breakfast foods, blue Powerade, and cigarettes. You’re a champ!

Bianca xxx

Saturday, December 22, 2012


Mentioned to Michael earlier today about how I bought blonde hair dye to lighten my hair. He has never given me a death stare like that before. If looks could kill, I’d be dead right now. Good thing the only reason I’m dying my hair really light is so when I chuck in the other colour I bought, it really stands out. I’m sick of dying virtually black hair with colour dye and only being able to see it in the right light for like six days and then it fading into some weird brown mix.

If that fails, I’m just gonna dye it all blue-black because I’m fucking over it.

Friday, December 21, 2012

So it's almost the end of the year and I thought it's probably best I note down what ruled about 2012 before I forget:

  1. I’ve held down my longest running job.
  2. I love my job, even on the shit days.
  3. I’ve been living out of home for over a year now.
  4. I somehow still manage to pay everything without going totally broke.
  5. I’m working on my savings - even though I add like $2 a week. Still!
  6. New body modifications.
  7. I basically taught myself how to drive a manual car.
  8. Through that, I learnt how to face fears head on and actually get through them.
  9. I applied for university and got in.
  10. I’ve managed to keep up with every single loan payment and have successfully hit under the $12,000 mark.
  11. We’ve passed every house inspection with flying colours.
  12. Hannah moved in.
  13. Michael and I had our very first Christmas together.
  14. It was the first Christmas I had with Ichigo.
  15. I’ve learnt how to love my body, on all levels.
  16. My hair has never been longer.
  17. I have never been this thin before.
  18. Michael and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary.
  19. Melbourne for my birthday.
  20. I don’t have to work Christmas or New Year’s Day this year.
  21. My implanon has been successful.
  22. Big boobs, thigh gaps and protruding collar bones are not important to me, and they shouldn’t be to you, either.
  23. Quit the gym: started eating better.
  24. All the help and support I’ve received from my mother.
  25. I have not gone crazy with buying all sorts of things for myself and being selfish like I thought I would’ve.
  26. 2012 was the first year in a long time where my anxiety and depression did not get the better of me.
  27. I’ve made real friends at work. I received a Christmas card from one of my favourite co-workers, was invited to dinner by some others (I didn’t go in the end), Laura and I now have lunch dates every second Friday together, and people actually ask how my life is going even though it has nothing to do with work.

I am so proud of myself. These might seem like mediocre things to you, but they’re important enough for me that I don’t want to forget them. This has been the most life changing year of my life to date. Growing up ain’t so bad after all. I am so content with the person I am today and I cannot wait to grow some more next year.

Here’s to the rest of my life!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Shout out to all my vegan people!

I need your help! How does No Egg go in something like French toast? I wanna try it but I don’t want to ruin my favourite meal.

Monday, December 17, 2012


Haven’t been on tumblr as much lately. Been too busy with Sims 3 and reading Lolita to care for my cyber journal. My sim’s boyfriend called her out on a date to the beach to watch the sunrise.

Sorry not sorry.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Saturday night.

Saturday morning I was greeting with the noise of Hannah doing the washing. We decided to take a quick trip to Ikea, after she had booked her Bali flights, because we need a few things to help keep the house tidy. We debated whether Bali or Fiji was a better holiday destination; each hard arguable points. Bali is cheaper; Fiji is less populated. Bali has better shopping; Fiji has better resorts. Bali has similar weather to Australia; Fiji has the opposite (which means if I go for my birthday, it won’t be cold). In the end, neither of us found what we were looking for. We did, although, bump into Whitey there and had a quick catch up.

I had a quick shower when I got home and organised dinner plans with Rachel. I made my way down to her’s at like 6:40pm, and we had chicken enchiladas for dinner! She even bought me a little garden salad because she knows I love my salad. We sat down to watch tv/listen to music when we decided to invite Trev. He brought apple pie and ice cream for dessert (: We sat up drinking and singing along to classic 90’s pop songs because we’re shitheads like that. Rachel somewhat converted me to a 1 Direction fan (they’re catchy as fuck, back off) and we watched some Tom Felton youtube vids because we love him.

We put Fern Gully on and somehow all of us got sleepy immediately. Chuck made sleeping slightly difficult. Rachel always has the fan on when she sleeps, but I got cold because Chuck kept pulling the covers off of me. Woke up in the morning slightly hungover, more or less just a headache, went and got breakfast at a nice cafe. Rachel’s poached eggs were too salty, my chai latter could have been creamier, and if my body’s telling me correctly, I didn’t get soy milk like I asked.

I am now home and unable to put my sentences together with proper structure. This isn’t entertaining in the least. Bite me.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Dear Diary (blogger)

I will not be participating in your, lack for a better word, social networking website tonight. I have Dragon Ball Z season #1 to watch on marathon mode with a bottle (or two, idk) of red wine with my name on it. I will, although, be updating my thoughts on Dragon Ball Z via Twitter. If you don't already follow me, you should (I'm fucking obnoxious beyond belief). My username is bianca_hellcat - get on it.

Have a great night because I sure as hell will!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

15 reasons why today ruled!

  1. Thought I was running late for work but I turned up on time, as per usual.
  2. Thought I would be there until 3pm. Turns out I was only on until 2pm. Got to go home an hour early, yeah!
  3. Managed to avoid all the feces today at work.
  4. Made last minute plans to hang out at the beach with friends.
  5. Found my old bikini top and still fit in it. Disappointed my rack doesn’t look ace in it anymore but whatever~
  6. Hung out with Trev, Rachel, Emma, Trev’s uni friends, Larry, Jane, Upto, and England.
  7. Played frisbee with Trev’s uni friends. FYI I suck.
  8. Saw a sting ray swim past us in the shallow end of the shore.
  9. “Rachel, is it wrong if I’m watching that baby in the floating pool ring thingy and just waiting for it to face plant it on the shore?”
  11. We left at 7pm; the sun was still up and it was still hot.
  12. Cold shower after the beach.
  13. Beach hair!
  14. Did my mini work out challenge. No problem-o.
  15. It’s suddenly 9pm and I am sleepy already.

Monday, December 10, 2012


Uni class registration: 50825208670139859130850247683 - Bianca: 0

Celeste is coming over tomorrow to help out because it’s doing my head in. I am so confused ):

Outfit of the day:

  • Black bodysuit/leotard
  • Denim cut off shorts
  • Black imitation Vans

I had to stand on the bed to take this. He immediately tickled my knees and made me fall backwards. Forever falling for him, literally.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Today has been good to me.

  • Went for a walk along the beach with Trev in the sunshine.
  • Watched Tangled with Michael.
  • Called Hannah a whore for cancelling on me, haha.
  • Went shopping with Trev.
  • Bought new make up.
  • Got refitted and bought a new bra. I am totally a 8D, which is super fucking fantastic. The new one I bought fits like a glove. Hell not happy that I have to get padded bras because of my stupid ribs being all weird and shit, but ohwell.
  • Got my helix pierced today. Son of a bitch was painful and slow. I am not looking forward to going back and getting more, ha. I missed the feeling so much and was totally worth it.
  • Tim gave me a discount as well. Love that man.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


Have you ever kissed someone goodbye forever?
Probably. No big deal.

Last name of the last person you texted?

If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?
Idk. I don't read too much into my own emotions.

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
You're damn right they are. Cannot wait for 2013.

Do you like flowers?
Flowers are pretty to look at, but Tulips are the only ones I want to keep because they don't smell.

Do you think your life will be different this time next year?
Most certainly. I'll have finished my first year of uni.

Are you keeping a secret right now?
I never have anything to hide.

Where were you last night at 8 PM?
Home, with the most amazing people.

Is your last name longer than 6 letters?
Addams is just 6 letters.

What color is your cell phone?
Black iPhone 4.

Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
I still date him.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you drank?

What annoys you?
Children. Shitty drivers. Slow walkers. People in general.

Your ex calls you to tell you they hate you, what would you say?

When each week comes around, do you always find yourself looking forward to Friday?
Not usually.

Whats bothering you?
Uni class registration.

Do you like to wear flip-flops?
Here in Australia, we call them things. And yes.

Your last received text, would you kiss them?
I am not kissing my mother.

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them?

Have you told anybody you loved them today and meant it?

Who do you hate?

Have you ever fallen asleep while texting someone?
Michael and I used to do it a lot when we first started seeing each other.

Did you kiss anyone when it turned 2008?
I don't really remember that kind of shit.

Why aren’t you with your last ex anymore?
Because I didn't want to be.

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

In winter, would you rather wear jackets or hoodies?
Either or.

Do you like math?
Sure, why not.

Who was the last person to share a secret with you?
Some chick at work. Really wouldn't call a secret, since she tells everyone the same thing but never confronts the person she has a problem with.

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
In the past.

Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to?
Hannah is one of my best friends, so duh.

Where are you?
Lounge room.

Are you in a good mood?
I am always in a good mood.

Do you want to have kids?
"You know what I hate? The sounds of children playing." That's what I said to Hannah this morning.

Do you like to wear sweatpants?
Sure, why not.

Are you wearing them right now?
Denim cut off shorts.

Have you ever stolen a street sign?
A few here and there.

Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
I really want to, but being caged frightens me more than being with sharks.

Last time you hugged someone?
This morning?

Trying to avoid feelings for someone?
I'm pretty open about my feelings, regardless of how I actually feel.

Are you happy with the way 2010 went?
Thinking about it, I was probably too drunk to remember much of it.

Who was the last person you told a secret?
I don't have secrets.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Tomorrow is undecided at this point. I like that.

Do you trust all of your friends?
Friends you don't trust are strangers.

Who is the one person in the world that knows the most about you?
Larry, Ryan, Celeste.

How long have you known the last person you spoke on the phone to?
My whole entire life.

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Does your name begin with a B, L, R, or T?

What were you doing an hour ago?
Sitting outside talking to Hannah.

Do you have a step-parent?
Nope. I only have my mother.

Do you have any friends of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
I have countless.

Have you ever used a Ouija board?
Once, at a slumber party. It was hand made and shit.

What is the background on your desktop?
Myself and Rachel with Tom Felton.

What’s your number one most played song on you MP3/iPod?
I listen to music via 8tracks these days.

You can eliminate homework for one subject, what would it be?
Religion. Does not belong in educational institutions.

Does the last person you slept next to mean anything to you?
More than anything in the world.

What was the first thing you had to drink today?
Tea, soy milk, teaspoon setiva.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
Idk. Depends on what happens.

Is your shirt yellow?

You want to see somebody right now?
He's sitting right next to me.

What woke you up this morning?
Naturally woke up.

Do you miss anyone?

What color are your eyes?

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
Rachel and I ran along the beach singing the Catdog theme song, at the top of our lungs, while drunk.

Will this weekend be exciting?
Sure will be.

What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you think of last summer?
There wasn't a summer.

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you?
Every night for a year, minus a few odd nights.

Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
I talk to Michael.

Do you prefer sliding down a slide or swinging on swings?
Swings make me feel sick.

Favorite band/artist?
There are a lot. You don't care.

Are you sick a lot?
Hardly these days, unless you count being heavily intoxicated and hungover.

Do you enjoy going through the car wash?
Love that shit. It's really relaxing for me.

Your brother tells you he’s in jail, what do you say?
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. How much weed did you get caught with?"

What sweatshirt did you wear last?
Harley Davidson crop top.

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
I don't live with Michael for nothing.

What was your last words before you went to bed last night?
I don't remember. I fell asleep with the cat.

Do you believe what goes around comes around?
It's called karma, and it rewards the good as well.

Do you like the dentist?
I love going to the dentist. It's always fun.

Who is the last person who texted you?

Who do you have text messages from in your inbox?

Is anyone protective over you?
My best friends.

What time is it?

Do you get mad easily?
Road rage like mad.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Who was the last person you were in a car with?

Is tomorrow going to be good?
I have the day off. I can do whatever.

Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger?

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you?
Nope. Not a single thing about my life.

Are you wearing any clothes that don’t belong to you, who’s are they?
All mine.

Do you get scared easily?
Not really.

Look in your inbox, who are most of your texts from?

Do you break down when getting yelled at?
I break down when yelling.

When people say, “Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever talked shit about anyone” do you think it’s possible?

Why do you think your favorite color is your favorite color?
Because it's the best colour.

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person?
Sure have. Ohwell.

How do you want to die?
Going down in style.

Do you like someone?
I love Michael and all my friends.