they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Things you should know about me #903483whatever

There are two times of the day where you should never ever interrupt me:

  1. When I’m in the shower
  2. When I’m eating

Just don’t. For the sake of your own head, don’t interrupt me. Those are the only two times in the world where I want to be left alone. Interrupt me when I’m on the toilet; when I’m trying to sleep; when I’m at work; whenever the hell you want just not when I’m showering or eating. Those are peaceful times for me.

I am vulgar and offensive. Get the fuck used to it.

I literally could not give a shit about what strangers think of me, or people I know and dislike think of me. I don’t see how their opinions of me matter so I don’t pay attention. People call me conceited or a snob for it, but idgaf. If my attitude is such a problem for you, then go away.

I like cups of tea more than coffee; cider more than beer; vodka more than gin; my body in only a bra and panties more than clothes; sex during the day more than before sleep or in the morning; lipgloss more than lipstick; bare feet more than shoes; summer more than winter; riding as a passenger more than being the driver; McDonalds more than KFC; and anime + manga more than being popular.

More importantly, and the thing most people never get to see, is that I’m genuinely a nice person most of the time. For real. Just don’t, y’know, give me a reason not to be nice, and we’ll get along fine. Despite being a sarcastic bitch 90% of the time, I’m actually a good person. Or at least I try to be.

Get excited!


Totally gonna be hung-the-fuck-over for uni the next day but idgaf. Spoiling myself good and proper because I deserve it.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Challenge accepted.

Right, so I’m trying to quit cigarettes, and as a natural deterrent, this is what I’m going to do every time I feel like a cigarette. At least, as I practically can - doing a quick workout while on shift at work is a little impractical.

Point being: If I’m going to quit, I might as well turn my cravings into something positive. Not only am I going to quit (I will probably still fuck up but whatever) but I’m going to become a fit bitch. Yeah~!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Australia Day/Citizen Day/Whatever the fuck it’s called Day

Yesterday, most of my friends gathered at Looker’s house for Australia Day (whatever the PC term is now, etc.) BBQ and drinks. Trev picked me up, we got some mixers for my vanilla vodka and some veggie sausages. We were the first to arrive, but whatever, because that meant we could get a head start on drinking and munching on snacks. Upto dropped in some goon and some fruit juice to make punch, but I had already opened a bottle of Looker’s homemade Apple & Blackcurrant cider so I held off for a bit.

Rachel showed up, and then a few others (I don’t really remember who and when), but no one remembered to bring a deck of cards for Kings. Rachel and Kim made some shitty paper cards, but they did the trick since I ended up vomiting in Looker’s back garden afterwards. I only played one round. I think if I went for a second, I wouldn’t have made it through the night.

We took loads of photos, made way too many jokes that I can’t remember, shared alcohol and cigarettes, danced and listened to Triple J’s Hottest 100. Hannah won an imaginary bet that Thrift Shop would win #1.

I don’t really remember when or why, but Rachel picked me up over her shoulders and then tried to walk inside. She got as far as Looker’s back door before she dropped me on the floor. I now have a bruised left side and grazes to my elbow, but it was hilarious at the time.

Michael, Larry and Brad left at one point to go the Jetty Bar to see Ryan, so Rachel, Hannah, Paschal and myself decided to walk to the main road and catch a cab up. We got about half way between the main road and Looker’s house before we got distracted. Some random house had an unguarded trampoline in their front yard - so we jumped on it. We tried to keep our voices down, but I don’t think it worked because someone who lived across the street peered out their front door and then shut it when Rachel yelled hello. Meanies.

Eventually we got off, Rachel decided that stopping in the middle of the street to look for chewing gum was a great idea, and then Hannah and Paschal decided to go home instead. I got a text from Celeste to tell me that Michael, Brad and Larry had gone back to Looker’s, so Rachel and I turned around and went back.

At some point during the night, I think before we left for the Jetty Bar, Lil Hannah and I had a big D&M as drunk girls do. I don’t really remember what it was about, but at the time it was super important for us to get everything out. I can’t imagine my life without her. When she’s a famous movie star, we’re taking her private jet and going shopping in Paris ;)

At the end of the night, Larry, Rachel, Michael and myself decided to go to Rachel’s house instead of trying to go to our own homes. It took us ages to get through on the phone lines to book a cab. We made a quick pit stop at Larry’s house and then went back to Rachel’s. On our way, Rachel couldn’t stop laughing because as she was struggling to put her seat belt on, Michael said, “Omg, Rachel. Just stick it in.” Then she stuck her head out the window and the driver freaked because he thought she was vomiting. Larry made small talk to ease the driver since he seemed really uncomfortable.

Because we made a pit stop along the way, Rachel was panicking about not having enough money for the fare. As it slowly reached closer to $55, she kept suggesting that the driver just pull over and stop because we “couldn’t afford it,” which would have been fine but Michael couldn’t walk due to a sprained ankle he got the night before. When we got to Rachel’s, the fare was something like $58, but because Rachel was being a pain in the ass over the price, he dropped it down to $55! I complimented the driver on his excellent driving skills and said I’d be calling the company again. I like a nice smooth driver.

This morning I woke up at like 7:30am to the sounds of Rachel vomiting in the bathroom. I tried to go back to sleep again, but because my left side is bruised and grazed, it made sleeping uncomfortable. I begged the guys to come to The Pancake Kitchen with me, and they all said yes once I offered to pay. $87 worth of pancakes, bacon, hash browns, eggs, and everything else later, we all went our separate ways.

Oh yeah, I also made a deal with my brother to quit smoking when he runs out of his, since I’m already out of mine. + I made plans to climb Mount Lofty tomorrow morning with Rachel and Sarah. I’m going to nap now and then go to Rachel’s so I’m there in the morning all refreshed for Death Mountain.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I did it!

I got my blood test done today, AND a diphtheria-tetanus-whooping cough immunisation too! I’m half way through getting all my immunisations done in time for uni. By Friday, I should have my blood results back telling me whether I’m immune to measles-mumps-rubella, HepB, and Chicken Pox. I still need my Fluvax but I think I can get that from work. I need to go to the Royal Adelaide Hospital to see if I’m resistant to Tuberculosis.

Anyway~ just wanted to share my news about conquering my fears of needles because it’s super important to me. A lot of people know I want to be a nurse, but I don’t think they knew the lengths I would go to get there. If I can face my biggest fear head on, there’s not much else left to stop me.

2013 is the year I push my boundaries beyond their limit. I will get through this.

Monday, January 21, 2013


I don’t know how I feel entirely about the idea that there’s just one person out there perfect for you. The idea of The One kind of freaks me out, y’know? Like I’ve been wasting my time on guys who aren’t going to last because they’re not The One or some shit? Idk. That sounds crazy to me.

I mean, can’t there be varying degrees of The One?

The One who was your first; The One who taught you life’s hard lessons; The One who made you feel confident and beautiful; The One who fitted into your rebellious phase perfectly; The One who was different from the rest; The One who pushed you to try different things; The One who was only around for the sex; The One who got you through the hard times; The One you thought was The One but really wasn’t.

There can’t possibly be one person out there for you who’ll make everything perfect, can there? The One who’ll fit all of your idiosyncrasies like a glove to your malformed hand? Idk, life’s too much of an unknown variable to know these things. They say when you meet The One, you’ll know - what if I’m too stupid to know?

Friday, January 18, 2013

Here’s the thing I hate about people who hate on Valentine’s Day (V Day) because they’re single:

Valentine’s Day is a day for people to celebrate love; it is not a day for you to cry about how you’re “single and lonely.”

If your only negative connotation towards V Day is because you don’t have someone to celebrate it with, you should probably think about that for a long time. It ain’t about you, sweetheart. I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s supposed to be about celebrating your connections to the the people you love (they would be your friends and family); not about people showering you with goodies because you so happen to grace their lives with your presence.

If you’re going to be sad and lonely on V Day because you’re not getting flowers and shit from someone, you don’t deserve to celebrate it, you selfish fuck.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Doing origami with the housemate. Fuck you, you stupid piece of paper. WHY DON’T YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD!

I am about to be emotionally broken by a piece of paper. World, you win.

The taste of defeat is not sweet, but salty, like my tears.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Handmade sticker all the way from America!

Received my handmade “Me + Food” sticker from mariannapaige today~! I was so excited to see it in the post, and I really couldn’t believe I’d won a tumblr giveaway. Eeee, I can’t wait to find the perfect place to stick it! It came all the way from America.

Go check out her tumblr. It’s full of wonderful writing and imagery.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Personal notes on being positive and all that junk:

♥ Start small. Find at least one thing per day that you enjoyed. You’ll soon be able to list at least 5 things per day in no time.

♥ Take some serious me time. Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. If you’re not happy with who you are, or where you’re at in life, take some time to sort yourself out.

♥ Swallow your pride every now and again. Having the last say in things, even if they’re wrong and won’t admit it, isn’t always worth it. Let it go and move on.

♥ Smile. It’ll trick your brain into thinking your happy, and then you’ll feel it.

♥ Be a little impulsive. Change is as good as a holiday, as they say, so get out there and do something without thinking about it. Go.

♥ If you’re suffering from a bout of negativity, write it all out on paper and then burn it/rip it up/throw it out/destroy it however you want. Taking out physical frustration on your written issues helps you cleanse.

♥ Cut the shit - your job; routine; family; friends; co-workers; life style; food; physical activity - whatever is making you feel like shit needs to go. It might be a little hard at first to deal with the loss, but it’ll be better for you in the long run.

♥ Fuck.

♥ The.

♥ Haters.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

I reaaaaaaaally don't like it when people give me advice on how to handle my money.

“If you can’t afford your lifestyle on Centrelink allowances plus rent assistance, then maybe you should cut down your expenses.” Let me just outline the necessary expenses I need to pay on a fortnightly basis where all my bills land:

  • $320 rent
  • $123.70 car loan
  • $40-50 petrol
  • $120+ food
  • $73 phone bill
  • $100+ electricity/gas bill
  • $60 internet
  • $xx.xx+ left over to put in my savings for when things get tough and I need more money to cover it.

That’s roughly $830 EVERY SECOND FORTNIGHT. Excuse me, but where the fuck do you think I can make cut backs to reduce that? Get rid of the internet? Yeah, that’ll make uni work soooo easy. Reduce my phone bill? $73 is the minimum I pay if I don’t go over my cap. I cannot reduce it; I’ve already asked. Don’t eat so much? You go out and buy fruits and veggies that don’t cost a fucking fortune. I don’t wanna eat cheap packet food, so excuuuuuuuse me for wanting to be healthy. No car loan? Yes, I’ll just sell my perfectly working car and get a cheaper one that’ll break down on me, like the previous 3 cars I’ve owned. Reduce my electricity/gas bills? Hannah works for AGL so we get a discount as is. Can’t get any cheaper than that. Move back home? Not a chance in hell. There’s a legal binding contract I signed called a Lease. I’m signed on for 12 months. If I pull out of that, Hannah is fucked and I still have to pay rent until they find new tenants, however long that is.

Do not under any pretenses assume I am living beyond my means.

Do not under any pretenses assume I cannot budget.

Do not under any pretenses assume I have not worked all of this out already.

For the love of the universe, do not ever underestimate me. Do not belittle me.

You will be sorry.

Saturday, January 5, 2013


Even if I tried to erase you from my memory, I’d still find ways to remember you. The spaces between my fingers; the way your lips part to kiss; the way your body curls in bed; all those places my mind could forget but never my soul.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Outfit of the day:

  • black leotard/bodysuit
  • denim cut off shorts
  • Sportsgirl tattoo pantyhose/tights
  • black imitation combat boots
  • blue feather accent neck chair
  • bed hair

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

What I remember from NYE.

NYE plans kind of got thrown up in the air a couple of days before the party, but we managed to pull it together. I had work until 3pm, so I was a little pressed for time since I was supposed to help set up for it. Tristan was meant to bring speakers, but failed. We managed to find some others from whoever brought them (I don’t remember (I’ll be saying that a lot.)) Rachel, Hannah and myself went to Savers and bought these fantastically cheap but ohso comfortable couches for the night. Mine was an $8 arm chair that I can’t wait to bring home and enjoy during summer!

By the time I got to the party, Rachel and Trev were already drunk. I brought a bottle of vodka to mix with coke, even though there was punch already made up. We played a round of Kings before everyone showed up so we were half cut by like 6pm. Trev wore his kigurumi, and Rachel and I were supposed to wear ours, too, but it was too fucking hot. The theme was sexy animals, but no one dressed up, haha. Looker came as a cat; super cute.

The next few moments of the night are probably in the wrong chronological order but whatever. I’m just going to write them in the order as they come to mind and however the hell I remember them, even if it’s not how it really happened.

Bradley showed up at whatever point during the night, and when we were hugging, Trev tackled us and we fell to the floor. I grazed my knee. Happens to be the second NYE where I’ve hurt my knee in the exact same spot. Gud wun.

I don’t really remember how I ended up doing what I’m about to explain, or why I even did it but yeah. Okay so I ended up somehow climbing over my arm chair from behind, and as I went to climb down from standing on top of it, I lost my balance, tried to counterbalance myself, stumbled, fell on my ass on the dinning chair next to my arm chair, and then lost my balance some more causing myself to fall to the floor and face plant it. I now have a bruise on my ass cheek the size of my hand.

Bradley legitimately broke a dinning table’s legs off and then John and Craig were dancing on top of it.
Hannah and Paschal left shortly after midnight, like Rachel and I predicted she would.

The weather was super nice, and I had to sneak inside the house to get my hoodie once I started to sober up and got cold.

Tristan was on my arm chair with Eleanor with a blankie, which was like a fucking lighthouse on fire to Bradley and Anthony, so they picked up the kiddy pool, you know those ones plastic shell ones, full of water and tipped it over them. As funny as it was, I felt bad for them. Also for my chair.

Bradley and Craig were doing some weird wrestling shit in the spare room, and I don’t know how, but Bradley managed to rip Craig’s underwear off while he was still wearing pants. They were throwing around his ripped underwear all night. Tristan also tore a hole in his. Bradley then lifted Looker up in the air by his underwear. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Bradley likes to keep his hands in male’s underwear.
Trev lost his phone but found it in the morning. It was unharmed.

Someone broke Tristan’s bottle of scotch early in the night. He had something like two drinks before that. I went to bed with half a bottle of vodka left; woke up to find maybe enough to make two drinks out of it. Fuckers.

Almost everyone got a NYE midnight kiss.

Out of the few games of Kings I played, I got waterfall (Queen card) almost every time. I made the Kitten Ear Rule, where you have to pretend to have cat ears using your hands every time you talk, which annoyed the hell out of everyone and was super entertaining. Hannah then revoked that rule but made it so that whenever I wanted to talk, I had to do the Chicken Dance. Larry lost the first game; I lost the second; I don’t remember who lost the others.

When most of the people left, we all congregated in the spare room and had a wonderfully hilarious conversation on the incredibly weird/hideous celebrities we would fuck. I took the cake with Steve Buscemi and a few other hilarious suggestions like Donald Trump, Michael Moore, and Eddy McGuire just so I could have them on my list. Do not start a conversation of what kinds of people I would fuck because you will lose.

England tried to walk home/to town but Rachel and I managed to convince him to stay because he was drunk and we were worried. Every time he tried to leave, Rachel literally tackled him to the floor. She’s far stronger than she appears. It’s incredible.

Some other random shit but I’m too tired to think. Woteva woteva i do wot i want.

New Year's Day!

Seemed like a good day to get a Fortune Cookie. Good advice.