they say you don't know what you got 'til it's gone / / they say that your darkest hour comes before your dawn

Friday, April 12, 2013

We buried my grandma today.

I don't think I've seen my mother cry like that before. My grandma gave me her engagement ring before she passed away. I put it on today and I keep looking at it with an ache inside. She married a man, raised children, raised grandchildren, lived a loved and full life, but she never loved her husband. The third to last time I saw her, she made herself lunch, sat at the table, and then made gestures I've never seen her do. Her husband, my grandpa, sat at the table to have lunch with her. Do you know what she did? She physically turned her chair away from him, glared at him over her shoulder the whole time, and spoke about how much of an idiot she thought he was. They got married when she was 18; she died at 69. They were married for 51 years and I don't think she loved him a single day. When the hearse pulled up today, and he saw the flowers and the casket, he broke down and cried hysterically. He loved her but she never loved him, and I don't know what's sadder.

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